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20 June 2007 @ 01:37 pm
Wanting To Believe [X-Files; Doggett/Scully]  
TITLE: Wanting To Believe
FANDOM: The X-Files
PAIRING: Doggett/Scully
SPOILERS: Season 8


The office was dark and the door had been locked but he knew he would find her there. It was where he'd found her nearly every night, late at night, since they'd met. She was sitting at his desk -- Mulder's -- staring at that damned poster on the wall with her hand over her stomach. John ducked his head at the sight, slipped one hand into his pocket. Then, with his free hand, he raised his fist to knock softly on the metal doorframe.

And just like every night, she startled as if he'd never found her like this before. A gasp escaped those rosebud lips that he tried not to think about as he fell asleep, and her fiery locks flew. "Agent Doggett."

But tonight wasn't like every other night. Tonight, when her head snapped to look at him, the moonlight (which just barely filtered through those pathetic excuses for windows) caught something on her face... made it sparkle. And then he realized, she was crying. "Agent Scully, y'alright?"

He hovered at the door, not wanting to intrude on what was obviously such a private moment. But then, chivalry won out and he strode to her while she sniffled silently, his hand retrieving a handkerchief from his pocket. Wordlessly, he handed it to her, holding her gaze as she looked up at him questioningly.

A silent conversation was held between her eyes and his, and she took the handkerchief, wiping her nose delicately before balling the soft fabric in her hand. "I miss him," she said after a long moment.

John felt a strange pang in his heart at those words, but he nodded, hands once more in his pockets. "I know."

Then, as if disgusted with herself for showing emotion, Dana shook her head and rose to her feet, coming around the desk to hand him the kerchief. He held up his hand to stop her, telling her in his low rasp, "You keep it. I got plenty."

For a fleeting moment, she smiled. "Just don't want my germs, huh?"

He chuckled, just barely. "No, it's not that." He wouldn't mind her germs, he thought, then instantly chastised himself.

She searched his eyes as if possessing the sudden ability to read his thoughts, and nodded. Then, having composed herself completely, having carefully detached herself from her emotions once more, she plastered on a cheerful smile -- a pathetic attempt, in his opinion. "Well, it's late. I should be getting home."

John's eyes flicked toward the poster, and the light scent of lilies surrounded him as she started to brush past. He caught her forearm along the way and pulled her back to meet his eyes. Searching them briefly, he vowed to her, "I will find him, Agent Scully." When that didn't seem to register with her, he tried a different tactic. "Dana... I will."

That got her. She nodded slowly and swallowed hard. He watched the movement and thought that even doing something as simple as swallowing, she was painfully beautiful. "I know you will, John," she whispered.

He wasn't sure what came over him, then. He wasn't sure if it was the moonlight, or her blue-as-oceans eyes, or deep red hair, or her overwhelming sadness that was piercing his heart.... but he was powerless to resist. He leaned in and captured a very surprised Dana Scully by the lips.

He tensed, waiting for a slap as he felt her eyelashes flutter whisper-soft against his cheek. And he could've sworn he felt her lips respond before he pulled back and whispered, "Sorry."

And as he damned himself for all eternity, she just watched him, carefully... as if examining a crucial piece of evidence. When he finally looked up and met her eyes again, her fingertips were pressing softly to her full bottom lip. "Well... goodnight, Agent Doggett," she said in a low voice.

As she brushed past him this time, he let her go, head turning to follow her. She stopped at the door, and then looked over her shoulder at him. He thought he saw the tiniest of smiles flicker across her face and hoped the moonlight wasn't playing tricks on him.

Then, she was gone.


Dedication: to sakushachan for the First Kiss meme!
{x-posted to dsrfans}