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26 March 2010 @ 11:45 pm
Bullseye [Parks & Rec; Ron/Leslie]  
TITLE: Bullseye
FANDOM: Parks and Recreation
PAIRING: Ron/Leslie
SPOILERS: "Summer Catalog" (2.20)
RATING: G
SUMMARY: If only she would just listen to him every once in a damn while.


*****

"I gotta hand it to Michael." Ron watched as Leslie tossed a dart, landing it to the far right of the picture they'd posted there. "His water-pipe-making skills were most impressive. I once saw him smoke pot out of a 20-foot length of garden hose and a milk jug. That guy made a water pipe out of a stuffed raccoon."

"No way." Leslie turned, grabbing for another dart.

"No, I'm not kiddin.'"

"He made a bong out of a taxidermied raccoon?"

"I caught him smoking pot out of it," he gestured with his dart, "not three feet from where we're standing," before letting it fly, watching with a repressed sense of glee as it landed dead-on Clarence's crotch.

"Oh, nice shot!" Leslie giggled through her congratulatory exclamation, and Ron smiled at the sound.

"Right in Clarence's ancient junk." He watched, then, as Leslie let another one fly, his eyes following the arc before it landed with a hard thwack right in Moser's throat.

He and Leslie both cried out at the perfect placement. "OH!"

"In the neck!" The grin on her face was wide, practically splitting it in two, and Ron had to admit he kind of liked her vindictive side.

She had learned her lesson with the impromptu Parks Director picnic she'd spear-headed, that much was certain. What began as probably an innocent idea quickly hit a downward spiral; Ron never liked that Leslie had to come to realizations the hard way -- in fact, he would like it much better if he could warn her ahead of time that something was a bad idea and she would just listen to him for a change. But nope. That had never been her style. Even in the beginning.

So he had to sit back and suffer all day. He had to listen to Michael and his stupid hippie gibberish about pot, which only brought to mind the hellish time he spent working under said-hippie. He had to listen to Clarence and his misogynistic old-guy bull about women and periods, and... God knows what else, he stopped listening after awhile. And then, of course, there was Moser, who didn't say much the whole day, but what did come out of his mouth was vile as always.

The only thing that had helped was the fact that Leslie was right there suffering alongside him. And okay, the idea that she had cooked some bacon just as a snack for him to keep him happy until lunch didn't hurt either. But yesterday still ranked as one of the worst surprises of his life. The only thing that would've been more unpleasant was having to attend a picnic with Leslie and both of his ex-wives.

If only she would just listen to him every once in a damn while.

"Your turn, Ron."

He grabbed another dart off his desk, cocked his arm, and released the dart, watching with a grin as it landed right in Michael's eye. To his right, Leslie giggled.

"Now that is a bullseye."

"Sure is." He was glad that she was happy again. And that he had been able to reassure her that they wouldn't start hating each other, as his predecessors all did.

Ron couldn't think of any possible way he could end up hating Leslie. The worst offense would be her possibly killing someone. And even that wasn't grounds for hating her because, first of all, Leslie Knope would never kill anybody. Therefore, she was probably framed, and Ron would feel compelled to find the bastard that framed her (probably Tom -- Tom can't be trusted) and seek vengeance. Second of all, if Leslie would ever have to kill someone, she would probably have a valid reason for it. And she would probably explain it to Ron in a way that would make it seem crucial, almost, and of course he would believe her, and be on her side during the trial, and he'd probably try to sneak stuff into the prison for her. Bake her a cake with one of those long metal files in it, probably...

Frowning, Ron decided to get off his current train of thought, as it was heading to very strange places. The point was, he could never hate Leslie in a million years. She'd already committed plenty of offenses, and none of them were bad enough for him to hate her. Trying to hook him up with his bitch of an ex-wife again? Yeah, pretty bad. But ultimately, she put his feelings first and Ron definitely responded to that. Appreciated it, even. And of course there was the time he had thought she'd shot him in the head. Even then, he was more annoyed than anything else. Certainly not filled with hatred.

And dragging him to a strip club to help out Tom? Well yes, that was irritating, but... there had been a breakfast buffet. So he'd actually been glad that she dragged him along. The Dexhardt scandal? Not her fault, no reason for him to hate her. Making it seem as though she was personally evaluating the teachers from the rec center? Yep, pretty bad -- but, it had been inadvertent, so again... no cause for hatred of any kind.

Her not letting him drive after only three whiskeys was pretty bothersome. And he lost way too much sleep trying to make that harp to prove his point. But still, it was no reason to hate her. The Woman of the Year award? The hatred fell to the idiots at the women's organization, not Leslie. She was the one that deserved the award. And the whole possum mishap? Was actually more amusing than it was irritating, and it certainly was nothing upsetting enough to cause feelings of hate, or even mild disdain.

No, even on her worst days, doing the dumbest things, Leslie was still one of the best people ever. That, and hey... she loved breakfast food almost as much as he did. How could he hate a woman like that? He couldn't. In fact, most times with Leslie, it was quite the opposite of hate. He... liked her. Enjoyed her. And he didn't want her to move to Eagleton.

"Your turn." He nudged her lightly with his elbow, smirking as she grinned and grabbed another dart, arcing it just right. When it landed with a loud 'thwack,' Leslie's jaw dropped in a huge grin and she let out a surprised burst of laughter; the dart had landed smack against his picture, off to the left-hand side of his chest. She grabbed his arm gleefully and Ron felt his skin jump.

"Look, Ron!" And then that bright grin was directed at him as she declared, "I got your heart!"

And Ron made no attempt to correct her. He merely shot a look at the camera, getting rid of his smile, and told her, "You sure did, Knope."



FIN



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{x-posted to ronleslie and parksandrec}
 
 
 
dammit, jim: Parks & Rec [Ron Fucking Swanson]imadoctornotalj on March 27th, 2010 06:35 am (UTC)
Is it possible to die of adorable overdose? Because I'm fairly certain that I just did. This was amazing and gorgeous and wonderful and I absolutely love that Ron can't hate Leslie no matter what. All of the other-episode references were perfect and it was generally just a super awesome read. And the ending? Oh my, I'll be back once I clean up the puddle I've just melted into. Beautiful job. ♥
a.regalish on March 29th, 2010 07:25 pm (UTC)
Awwww! Hehe, thank you so so much! I'm so happy you enjoyed this. These two are so incredibly sweet and heart-warming. And especially after an episode like that, I was kinda helpless to resist adding my two-cents :D
lytab5: Sedgewicklytab5 on March 27th, 2010 10:35 am (UTC)
Wonderful fic! ♥ I really like the introspective into Rons mind. :-)
Thank you so much for sharing!
a.regalish on March 29th, 2010 07:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! Ron's such a blast to write, I really enjoy him. Glad you liked this :)
Uther Pendragon's Loyal Wench: Andy - OMGfirthgal on March 27th, 2010 02:28 pm (UTC)
I AM SITTING HERE MAKING SOME WEIRD SCREECHY NOISE AND FLAILING MY HANDS, BECAUSE OMG THAT ENDING WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER. So, so perfectly clever and them that I melted. Ooooooh, this was wonderful. I particularly loved this line:

In fact, most times with Leslie, it was quite the opposite of hate. He... liked her. Enjoyed her. And he didn't want her to move to Eagleton.

It was such a wonderfully Ron-ish understatement that it made me smile. So much goodness going on this fic.
a.regalish on March 29th, 2010 07:27 pm (UTC)
HEEEEEE! SO SO GLAD YOU LIKED THIS. Oh man, that episode was just unbelievable with the Ron/Leslie love. Just when we think they can't throw any more stuff at us, bam!

Glad you liked the line about Leslie not moving to Eagleton ;) The (several) times I've watched that episode, I always find myself wishing we got a Ron talking-head about how Leslie shouldn't move to Eagleton -- which, he of course would play off by saying something disparaging about Eagleton, with oh-so-obvious subtext that he doesn't want her to go because of his epic love for our Ms. Knope :D

Hehe! Thanks again, sweetie! ♥
lz1982: Andy/Aprillz1982 on March 27th, 2010 05:59 pm (UTC)
Aww, that's very cute.
a.regalish on March 29th, 2010 07:23 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks!! I love your icon, btw! April and Andy have totally stolen my heart :)
lz1982: Andy/Aprillz1982 on March 31st, 2010 03:40 am (UTC)
I know, right? I made this from the Parks and Rec website--they have the full catalog up!
a.regalish on March 31st, 2010 10:21 pm (UTC)
Ooh awesome! I gotta go check that out.
ameezfollie20 on March 27th, 2010 10:22 pm (UTC)
loved it!!!
a.regalish on March 29th, 2010 07:21 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
berserk_dragonberserk_dragon on March 28th, 2010 04:12 am (UTC)
The ending put a big grin on my face.
Too cute. :]
a.regalish on March 29th, 2010 07:23 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it :D
omnomnom17: (a2ac) dkdskomnomnom17 on March 28th, 2010 01:43 pm (UTC)
Oh wow, that was so bloody adorable! I really, really loved this.
a.regalish on March 29th, 2010 07:22 pm (UTC)
Aww, thanks so much! Hehe. These two are too dang cute together, I was helpless to resist. :D
(Deleted comment)
a.regalish on March 29th, 2010 07:22 pm (UTC)
Re: No, I insist you write me fic!
I can't stop watching the episode either! They are SO adorable. Sheesh, it's almost unreal.

So glad you liked this, sweetie! Thanks :D
jessnick05jessnick05 on April 11th, 2010 04:39 pm (UTC)
This was very sweet. Loved that Ron can't hate Leslie, that he likes her being vindictive, and his random fantasy about breaking her out of jail.

(I have to admit, this was the first episode where the Ron/Leslie potential kind of smacked me in the face, and now I'm going back through previous episodes and seeing it too!)
a.regalish on April 12th, 2010 04:26 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much! Glad you liked this :D

(I've seen Ron/Leslie hints since the first season, hehe! But I'm so glad they're starting to drop anvils now -- these two are adorable together!)
(Deleted comment)
a.regalish on August 8th, 2010 11:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! So glad you enjoyed this, because I just adore Ron and Leslie - friendship or otherwise, they're adorable. :D

Thanks again!