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02 June 2009 @ 05:51 pm
Affectation [Gossip Girl; Dan/Blair]  
TITLE: Affectation
FANDOM: Gossip Girl
PAIRING: Dan/Blair
SPOILERS: Season two in general, through "The Grandfather"
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: They all see it... but for some reason, it only affects him.


*****

She's slowly losing her grip. On her mind, on her emotions, on her very being. They all see it... but for some reason, it only affects him. This is an inexplicable fact. He's not her favorite and she certainly isn't his, but for some reason there's a silent kinship; an agreement, of sorts, that they don't have to like each other in order to relate to one another.

Serena's the one that initiates the search. Come to think of it, Serena was the mastermind behind everything tying the two of them together. She was the one that introduced them, that encouraged each of them to "play nice" with the other. So really, this unexplainable affectation is Serena's doing. He can't help but wonder if she's paused to take stock of this; of what she's done.

It's the four of them conducting the search: him, Serena, Nate, and a very reluctant Chuck. Chuck is another catalyst; one of the things currently causing the downward spiral of the once-unstoppable force that is Blair Waldorf. The other is all the self-imposed pressure: graduation, extracurricular activities, the usual backstabbing plots, and of course... the race to get into Yale.

She's been drinking. Which is nothing new other than the fact that she's doing it more often than usual. She's also turned to promiscuity... which is new, and incredibly unlike her. She's doing it to get back at Chuck; she'd gone out of her way to help him all winter, when he was grappling with his father's death, and he'd done nothing in return but driven her to the edge. They always seem to fall into this pattern with each other.

When he looks at things objectively, quite a few of her relationships seem to fall into that pattern. Even her friendship with Serena is volatile, explosive at times. And though she appears to respond to that kind of friction, he somehow knows that it's that friction that is causing her current downturn. She needs to level out. She needs someone that can do that for her, that can provide a balance.

Someone who can relate.

They search numerous bars and clubs, all of her favorite places, and to no avail. It's just shy of three o'clock in the morning when they meet up again and decide to start fresh in the morning.

So Dan heads home; carefully, he draws his keys out of his pocket, trying not to let them jangle too loudly as he slips them in the lock. He slides the door open to the loft as quietly as he can, practically tiptoeing inside.

Once the door shuts is when the lights came on, and he spins to see Rufus and Lily watching him from behind the breakfast bar in their pajamas and robes, Lily eyeing him curiously over the rim of her mug of tea.

When his father raises his eyebrows and opens his mouth to speak, he halts him with his words. "Look, I know I'm late. But this time I actually have a valid reason if you'll give me a second to explain--"

"Go to your room," Rufus just tells him calmly... almost unusually calm.

"Dad, honestly, we had to look for--"

"Go to your room," he intones again, a slight smile on his lips as he speaks each word slowly. "Trust me."

"Trust you? What--"

"Dan," Lily chuckles. "I think what your father's trying to say is... you might find what you're looking for in your room."

He raises his eyebrows. "Really."

The two adults just nod while Dan continues to eye them curiously, heading for his bedroom. When he opens the door, he stops in his tracks at the sight in front of him, feeling Rufus and Lily come up behind him.

She's sprawled on his bed, legs curled demurely up into her body, her back facing the door. Her sable curls are sprayed across his comforter, wild and riotous. It appears she's holding on to something, but from where he's standing he can't get a good look.

Lily answers his unvoiced question softly. "She showed up around midnight, reeking of booze and complaining about Chuck."

"She claimed she only came to visit Cedric," Rufus adds, quirking an eyebrow when Dan turns to look at him.

Dan walks further into the room, around to the other side of the bed, and looks down upon the still form of Blair Waldorf, cuddling his Cabbage Patch doll to her chest. "The absolute last girl I'd expect to find in my bed," he can't help but muse, and looks up to find Rufus and Lily just watching him. He shrugs. "Bad joke, but... it's true."

Lily shakes her head. "I don't like what this whole thing with Chuck is doing to her. I think they need to stay away from one another."

Dan takes a seat in the chair near his bed. "I thought you were Chuck's biggest champion."

"I care for him, but I don't think they're right for one another. Ever since she was a girl, Blair's had so much... sparkle. So much spunk. Chuck twists that around and turns her into a vicious, miserable thing."

His eyebrows lift. "I thought Chuck had that effect on everybody."

When Lily tilts her head at him admonishingly, he raises his hands in supplication. She smiles in acceptance of his silent apology and turns to Rufus, nudging him. "We should get back to sleep."

Rufus nods and guides her away from the door with a hand on her back before turning to his son, pointing toward the resting form on his bed. "Take care of her."

It's an order, though gentle in nature and loaded with meaning that Dan doesn't feel he's ready to deal with yet. So he watches them leave before he gets up and closes his bedroom door, returning to the chair by the bed and sliding it a little closer.

Her bangs lay messily over one side of her face and carefully, tentatively, he reaches out, almost not in control of his body as one finger gently lifts her bangs and brushes them aside. Long sable lashes flutter as Blair sighs in her sleep, nestling her cheek against his comforter a little further while she hugs Cedric tighter. And when he sees a sudden peppering of goosebumps on her bare arm he gets up and reaches for a throw blanket, draping it over her before going back to sit in the chair.

And as Dan watches over her, he hopes that she has finally been granted the repose that she needs: for her mind, for her emotions, for her very being.



FIN



{x-posted to daretodair and penn_leighton}
 
 
 
an unholy mess of a girl.: dont tempt me.corleones on June 3rd, 2009 03:11 am (UTC)
I love how tender and quiet this is. Very them. Oh and Rufus/Lily. Wonderful!
a.: rufus/lily; foreverregalish on June 13th, 2009 08:19 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked this. And Rufus/Lily is my OTP (or... they were before I really got into Dan/Blair, haha!) so I absolutely had to include them. :)
i'm an ocean; far too shallow, much too deepchoco_dreamer on June 3rd, 2009 03:13 am (UTC)
this was sad and hopeful at the same time - loved it :)
a.: leighton; hey beautifulregalish on June 13th, 2009 08:21 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it! :)
lizz lemon: 29carefulblair on June 3rd, 2009 03:29 am (UTC)
This was very nicely written. Great Job!
a.: buffy; melt my heart to stoneregalish on June 13th, 2009 08:22 pm (UTC)
Thanks very much!!
нσω ∂σ уσυ нσℓ∂ α мσση вєαм ιη уσυʀ нαη∂?: {GoG} DB - Cute as hellfiddlings on June 3rd, 2009 05:32 am (UTC)
Would you get my point if I simply typed out about three dozen hearts? This was so beautiful and lovely and wonderful. I love the way you write them. Well done! ♥

Edited at 2009-06-03 05:32 am (UTC)
a.: dan/blair; private conversationregalish on June 13th, 2009 08:23 pm (UTC)
Haha! I'd TOTALLY get the point with a buncha hearts :D :D Glad you liked this, bb! ♥
TattooedSiren: gossipgirl danblairtattooedsiren on June 3rd, 2009 06:27 am (UTC)
I love that she says she came to visit Cedric. So cute.
a.: dan/blair; only the lonelyregalish on June 13th, 2009 08:19 pm (UTC)
Thanks very much! :)
7gifts7gifts on June 3rd, 2009 08:08 am (UTC)
This was really sweet and I like the fact that she came to look for Cedric. How I wish that this was what happened on the episode.
a.: blair; the queenregalish on June 13th, 2009 08:21 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed this; I really wish she would've gone to Dan in that episode too. Or that Dan would've been the one to find her at the bar.
Lori: GG: Blair/Danlorilann on June 3rd, 2009 08:41 am (UTC)
I love that she came just to see Cedric. This is great, Blair seems to come to Dan when she knows she needs help but refuses to ask for it.
a.: penn/leighton; young hollywoodregalish on June 13th, 2009 08:16 pm (UTC)
Thank you! And I agree, Blair always goes to Dan when she needs genuine help, but will never admit it. :)
make adjustments. go get it energized!: we all have our junkmocca_fix_gold on June 3rd, 2009 09:59 am (UTC)
This is so sweet.
a.: serena; through any windowregalish on June 13th, 2009 08:15 pm (UTC)
Thanks very much!
mjmj_granger on June 3rd, 2009 11:50 am (UTC)
OMG!! this was beautiful! just amazing! xD
a.: bs; best friendsregalish on June 13th, 2009 08:15 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed this fic.
i've got interpersonal issues and syphilis: you know you make me wanna shout (d/b)jacobella41 on June 4th, 2009 02:58 am (UTC)
awwwwww cedric :)
a.: penn/leighton; picture perfectregalish on June 13th, 2009 08:14 pm (UTC)
Gotta love Cedric :) Thanks for reading!