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09 October 2007 @ 12:53 pm
Brutal Honesty [30 Rock; Jack/Liz]  
TITLE: Brutal Honesty
FANDOM: 30 Rock
SPOILERS: "Seinfeld Vision"


Liz sighed as she finished zipping up the garment bag that housed her wedding dress and hung it on the back of her office door, still berating herself that she'd bought it. She couldn't even keep it together for a week. Jack pretty much almost died (okay, maybe that was exaggerating a bit) and yet he bounced right back. He was looking better than ever. He'd lost some weight, even. Not that she paid attention to how he looked.

She wasn't Jack Donaghy, though. She didn't have the ability to bounce right back from heartache (whether literal or figurative) and just let it slide off her shoulders like Jack could. She couldn't ever drive a rental car into the Hudson for the express purpose of escaping, nor would she ever have the guts to bow-hunt for polar bear. She could never use sheer willpower to grow a couple inches taller -- no matter how hard she thought about it, she couldn't even get her boobs to go up a cup size, so what hope was there for her?

She wasn't Jack, she was just herself. But Jack said she was better than 'just herself.' She almost smiled at the thought. Almost.

He had told her he wasn't going to let her do this to herself. Which pretty much meant that he loved her. Sorta. Right? Oh God, that was weird. Why was she thinking about that? Jack didn't love her. Jack loved business. And vapid models with triple-E cup boobs. Jack loved insulting her (and Jenna was so wrong in saying that was his way of telling her he liked her, because whatever. How old was he, five?) and he loved continuously trying to change her. If Jack loved her, he wouldn't do that... right?

"Don't frown, Lemon, it wards people off," a warning voice told her coming through the door.

And Liz immediately rolled her eyes. Yeah, no, Jack definitely didn't love her. "Thanks. What are you doing here?"

"Just making sure that everything with you is..." he pursed his lips slightly, "okay. Or, as close to 'okay' as you can get, I suppose."

She sighed.

"Not to go on repeating myself, Lemon, but... I hate to see what this is doing to you. May I be brutally honest with you?"

Liz made a sweeping gesture toward him and smiled facetiously. "Be my guest. When are you not, anyway?" She folded her arms on her desktop and frowned up at him.

Jack leaned slightly toward her, his knuckles pressed against her desk as he told her, "Floyd was not good enough for you. I know you were under the impression that there was chemistry there, but let me tell you... there wasn't."

"Wow. Thanks for that... astute observation. Remind me again when I asked you for that opinion?"

"Don't get snippy with me, Lemon. I asked if I could be brutally honest with you and you gave me the green light. What did you expect?"

"I dunno," she huffed, and blew a puff of air toward her bangs.

"Floyd didn't treat you as you should've been treated. Not from what I could tell, anyway. He treated you like a buddy."

"No he didn't! I highly doubt he cuddles with any of his buddies."

Jack seemed to frown in disapproval at that. "The Floydster didn't seem the cuddly type. Hmm."

"Yeah, well, I guess you didn't know everything about the relationship, did you?"

"I can only speak from what I've seen, Lemon. And from what I know about how a woman like you deserves to be treated."

Liz stood up now and leaned forward, mirroring Jack's position. Jack's idea of how to treat a woman would definitely be interesting. "Really? Well Jack, if I had to go by what I see, the way you think a woman like myself should be treated is like a charity project. Or a paper doll that you can dress up and doll up and change all you want."

"That's how I treat you in a business sense, Lemon. I want you to live up to all the potential I see in you."

Liz sighed, and was a little bit startled to find that sigh bouncing back at her. Jack was too close for her to be okay with it now. "Okay, so business stuff aside, how should I woman like me be treated?"

Jack tilted his head and narrowed his eyes a little bit. "You need to be shown that men actually can be faithful and trustworthy. You seem all-too-willing to trust your deceitful pack of friends and employees, but never your significant others."

"Well," she stammered for a second, hating that he'd caught her off-guard. She figured he was going to say she needed to be romanced. "Guys always screw me over."

"That's exactly my point, Lemon. Not every man is like that. Just the men you happen to choose are like that."

"So you're saying I should choose someone I wouldn't normally go for?"

"Yes. I think you might be pleasantly surprised."

"Well the guys I wouldn't normally go for are the guys that want the vapid blondes with tons of eyeshadow. I'm not going to slap on pounds of makeup, Jack, just to become some stupid male-fantasy Kewpie doll with a 5-point IQ. Unless I was really into him or something."

"See, Lemon? Therein lies the bigger problem. You continually choose men that you actually don't have much of an interest in, don't have any expectations of, so when the relationship falls apart you can be unaffected. You need to fall in love. You need romance."

Liz wrinkled her nose. Ew. "I don't want to be romanced."

"Every woman does, Lemon, even you."

"That's... sexist. And slightly insulting."

"That may be, but that doesn't make it any less true. Women like yourself put up the facade of not wanting to be in a relationship, not wanting to be romanced simply to cover up the fact that it is one of the main things you yearn for. You would love for a man to look into your eyes and tell you that he could easily become consumed by their intensity." He dropped his voice as he said that.

And Liz's heart skipped a beat. Dammit, was it true? Was Jack right? She swallowed but never broke gaze. She'd lose this little 'test' he was putting her through -- test, challenge, daily annoyance, whatever. With Jack it was pretty much all the same.

"You'd love for a man to take you out and treat you like the center of his universe, if only for a night." As he said this, one of his hands slipped across the desk and covered hers.

Liz was dangerously close to slapping him. Or... kissing him. At the moment she wasn't sure which one would be more satisfying.

"Though you'd never admit it, you like a chivalrous man -- one who will hold the occasional door open for you even though you'd be quick to remind him you can do it yourself. Just the fact that he would be considerate enough to do so makes a difference to you. You want a man that's intelligent enough to take you on." His eyes narrowed a little further, and Liz was almost sure he was doing one of those weird Doctor Who-ish robot brain scans on her before he told her lowly, "You want a man that can make you enjoy sex again."

Her eyes widened. "Majorly, majorly over the line there. Just so you know."

Jack ducked his head for only a moment. "I apologize, Lemon, you're right."

Liz nodded and watched him, waiting for the follow-up comment. Instead of a comment, however, he looked up at her and gave her a kiss.

Which was even more over the line, and how dare he?

Except... it kind of felt good. And her stomach (and heart) was doing this weird fluttery thing. She didn't really know what to do with herself, so she kind of just... kept kissing Jack.

Until common sense caught up with her, of course, and she batted him away, pulling back looking offended. "What was that for?"

Jack just leaned back and shrugged, innocence on his face. Yeah, right. As if Jack Donaghy had ever had a drop of innocence in him. "I don't know. It just seemed appropriate." Tilting his head, he amended, "Not for the workplace, but for the moment."

"Oh." What happened to all her witty retorts? Did Jack just drain her of all her power with his lips? "I do want to enjoy sex again."

Seriously. What. The hell. Kissing Jack was obviously bad for the brain. "Really?"

"And I wasn't in love with Floyd." She raised her hands to her head, gripping her hair and cringing -- she had to stop talking. Right now. Maybe Jack would kiss her again.

But nope. He just stood at the door and smiled enigmatically at her. "This will be our year, Lemon. I can tell."

He was going to leave her wondering what he meant all day, wasn't he?

Before he headed out, he stopped and looked back at her, adding, "And you did look pretty in that dress, Liz. Beautiful, in fact."

Crap, he pulled out the first name. What kind of sick, twisted game was he playing?

"And I did miss you."

When he left, Liz had all she could do not to throw her shoe at him. Jack Donaghy. An eternal pain in her side, and...

-she touched her lips-

...an unfortunately good kisser.


{x-posted to jack_liz}
Jay Auris: Happynighthawkms on October 9th, 2007 09:30 pm (UTC)
*takes deep breath*


a.: J/L; don't let go of my hand;regalish on October 19th, 2007 12:28 am (UTC)
Hahahaha! I take it that's a good thing ;D

SO EXCITED to be writing Jack/Liz again! Hopefully tonight's ep brings some more inspiration :)
(Anonymous) on November 28th, 2007 04:03 am (UTC)
More More! I love your fan fiction. I have been reading all the old ones(your eipcs) at work today!
a.: cuddy; is photogenicregalish on December 5th, 2007 04:26 am (UTC)
Aww, thanks so much, Marlena! I know I've been awful about updating lately, but I really hope to get some new fics posted soon!

Thanks again :D
Uther Pendragon's Loyal Wench: Andy OMGfirthgal on October 10th, 2007 12:29 am (UTC)
Squeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Wow, your first foray back into Jack/Liz came much sooner than I expected! Woohoo! I LOVED this! It was so perfectly fluffy Jack/Liz style. I love how Jack was perplexed at the fact that Floyd was a cuddler. And this line was brilliant and so very true:

You seem all-too-willing to trust your deceitful pack of friends and employees, but never your significant others.

I nearly died when she blurted out that she did want to enjoy sex again right after they kissed. So perfect. And it is so going to be their year. I loved this!
a.: J/L; why fight it nowregalish on October 19th, 2007 12:33 am (UTC)
Heeee! It came much sooner than I expected too!

...That could very easily be followed by a "that's what she said" so let's just move on, shall we? ;D

Glad that you liked this fic! I totally just hammered it out and didn't even think it was all that coherent. BUT. It was Jack/Liz, so I figured I'd post it anyway, hehehe.

It IS going to be their year, and I can't wait. Tonight's ep has started, so I'm off to watch!
meganp6 on October 10th, 2007 02:15 am (UTC)
OMG! No-no, my eyes do NOT deceive me, this really is a Jack/Liz fic!! Caroline, let me say this in the straightest way possible: I absolutely LOVE you! I loved the fic, heck, I loved the fact you're back with J/L!!!

"This will be our year, Lemon. I can tell." Oh Jack, so can I! Great things are comming, I have a feeling that this season will be amazing! Can't wait to see it!!

PS: Tina Fey kicked @ss with that Emmy speech! I laughed so hard, she's amazing...
a.: J/L; don't let go of my hand;regalish on October 19th, 2007 12:38 am (UTC)
Ahahaha! It IS a Jack/Liz fic! Imagine that ;D

So glad you liked this, because I didn't really think it made much sense, lol! And this IS going to be their year. Totally. This season has been amazing so far, eeeeeee! I'm gonna post some clips on my regular LJ soon, so be on the lookout! :D
thiswaltz on October 10th, 2007 06:34 am (UTC)
so good! I made embarassingly high-pitched noises when I got to the end there. ;)
I love your interpretation of the "This will be our year" line.

Yay first post-ep fic of the season!
a.: J/L; night and day you are the one;regalish on October 19th, 2007 12:41 am (UTC)
Heee! I'm so glad you liked this! This is definitely going to be their year, and I can't wait.

Hopefully more Jack/Liz fics will follow this one! Thanks so much! :)
stresseaterstresseater on October 10th, 2007 06:46 am (UTC)
Okay, am I spamming or something? X ) Anyway, reread the fic and liked it much better the third time. Thumbs up.
a.: J/L; night and day you are the one;regalish on October 19th, 2007 12:42 am (UTC)
Thanks so much! Glad you liked it this time :)
Cross Word: Jack and Lizgoodtoast on October 10th, 2007 07:16 am (UTC)

I really do love romantic!Jack just as much as snarky!Jack. He makes my heart so happy, and you capture both of them perfectly.

Lucky, lucky Liz.
a.: L; the super doesn't stand for modelregalish on October 19th, 2007 12:43 am (UTC)
Heee, thank you so much! I'm so excited to be writing Jack/Liz again. Hopefully I can now get up the inspiration to finish that "Intoxicated Valentines" fic! :D
Lord Arlen's wife: 30 Rock - Hand Grabladyanneboleyn on October 10th, 2007 02:14 pm (UTC)
Let me just say how much I love you, only not in a queer way. Except kind of. Because seriously, that was awesome. =D
a.: J/L; don't let go of my hand;regalish on October 19th, 2007 12:45 am (UTC)
Hahaha, thank you so much! That premiere was all kinds of inspirational :D
stephen@charleneforever.com: 30 rock: jack/liz & hand-takingmichellek on October 11th, 2007 05:54 am (UTC)
Oh, God. That was awesome. I lol'd several times, and it was so in character and adorable at the same time. I love you. (But not in a queer way!)
stephen@charleneforever.com: 30 rock: liz (& her $4k ham napkin)michellek on October 11th, 2007 05:56 am (UTC)
Hee, I used the same icon and referenced the same 30 Rock quote as the person above me. That's kind of weird.
a.: J/L; don't let go of my hand;regalish on October 19th, 2007 12:47 am (UTC)
Oh wow, I just noticed that too! LOL. AWESOME.
a.: J/L; don't let go of my hand;regalish on October 19th, 2007 12:46 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! It makes me way too happy that you thought it was in character, since you are the queen of IC Jack/Liz!

I have to catch myself up on all your drabbles, by the way. I have been seriously missing them!
stephen@charleneforever.com: 30 rock: jack/liz (and hospital)michellek on October 21st, 2007 06:07 am (UTC)
:D You make me feel awesome with such comments, for the record.
courtney_mudie7: liz: im here to remind you...courtney_mudie7 on March 3rd, 2008 12:55 pm (UTC)
im so shattered that im like months and months behind with these fics!

but in a way happy too! cause i can read all this awesomeness in one block!

great fic, as always. going to see if i can find more :)
a.: liz; and her ham napkinregalish on March 6th, 2008 06:08 pm (UTC)
Aww, thanks so much! I'm so glad you found your way to my fics (and Jack/Liz in general, heee!)

Your icon is awesome, btw. Oh, drunk Liz! She's so adorkable.
courtney_mudie7: liz: high five herselfcourtney_mudie7 on March 6th, 2008 09:51 pm (UTC)
lol.. thanks. lanafromoz made it! she has some awesome icons.

And yea, Liz is awesome X's 5!
I work, I function like i'm a girl.okelay on March 9th, 2008 04:11 am (UTC)
cute. i liked the surprise kiss and liz blurting out she wanted to enjoy sex.

have i mentioned i'm really enjoying your fics? If i haven't, this is me, mentioning it.
a.regalish on March 27th, 2008 10:24 pm (UTC)
OMG. Bad LJ for not sending me comment notifications! *scolds LJ*

I literally just found this now. LOL. I am so sorry!

I'm so excited that you liked this! I wasn't sure how it would go over because it was just such a random, brief idea. And I love your icon :D
I work, I function like i'm a girl.: liz in wedding dressokelay on March 23rd, 2008 06:52 am (UTC)
i just re-read this and i noticed the DW reference!

thats awesome, cause liz is def a whovian!
a.: liz; and her ham napkinregalish on March 27th, 2008 10:25 pm (UTC)
Ha! I think you might be the only one that picked up on that! Kudos to you. And yeah, Liz is a total Whovian. I'm betting she'd have a thing for David Tennant (don't we all though, really? Heee).