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29 August 2007 @ 10:56 pm
The Worst Nightmare [The OC; Ryan/Kirsten]  
TITLE: The Worst Nightmare
PAIRING: Ryan/Kirsten
SPOILERS: Early season four


Kirsten made it through the rest of the day with only a few more bits of sage wisdom regarding Ryan from Julie, namely that Kirsten should "jump on that" while she had the chance, and that "what Sandy doesn't know won't hurt him that much." Which was... lovely.

That evening, she and Ryan had dinner together, sharing Chinese takeout while looking for a good movie on satellite. And, though it was comfortable and easy between them (like always), there was a charge to the air. As if they each knew a secret about each other but weren't sure about divulging it.

Halfway through the movie they settled on -- 'Heathers'; one of Kirsten's old favorites from the eighties -- Kirsten's eyelids started to get heavy. Her head found Ryan's shoulder of its own accord as she felt herself drifting. Then Ryan's arm found its way around her shoulders and the side of his lips touched her forehead. "Kirsten?"


Half-awake, she listened for what it seemed like he wanted to ask her. After a few moments (or hours, she wasn't sure) went by, he murmured, "Nothing," and kissed her forehead.

Then everything went wonderfully, pleasantly dark.

Hours later, Kirsten was roused from slumber by the feel of something (someone, actually) moving beneath her. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep on Ryan's shoulder... so how was he suddenly beneath her?

She opened her eyes and looked down, finding herself sprawled on top of Ryan while he laid on his back on the couch, arms around her protectively. His eyes were fluttering open and he was shifting beneath her, bracing his hands on her lower back to keep her from slipping off him and off the couch. "Hey," he greeted her groggily.

Kirsten couldn't help but giggle at the adorably-sleepy look on his face, despite their current compromising situation. "Hey," she echoed, and pushed herself off him slightly, feeling over his tee shirt. "I didn't... drool on you, did I?"

Ryan grunted a laugh and assured her, "I'm dry."


They sat up and Kirsten moved away, averting her eyes for fear that if she saw the sleepy look in his baby blues again, she'd actually take Julie's advice and jump on him. "Um... what time is it?"

Ryan lifted his wrist, glancing at his watch. "Quarter-past midnight."

"We should get to bed." Kirsten realized her Freudian slip the moment it escaped her lips; she clamped them shut and looked up at Ryan, blushing furiously. "I mean... you in your bed, me in mine."

Ryan nodded once. "Right." He hid his smile. "Of course."

Kirsten practically made a mad dash for her room at that point, knowing that one more metaphorical slip of the tongue would mean, quite possibly... a literal slip of the tongue.

She just barely heard Ryan's bemused, "Goodnight, Kirsten!" before she shut the door.


When Kirsten awoke hours later, it was to a loud popping sound, followed by a splash. Her eyes snapped open and she stared up at the ceiling fan, spinning lethargically above her. She blinked a few times, trying to discern whether the noises she'd heard actually happened, or if they'd been part of a dream. She laid there for a few moments, listening for any other noises. Hearing none, she turned on her side and nestled into the pillow again.

But something kept her from closing her eyes. Some strange, ambient feeling... she couldn't put her finger on what it was. So Kirsten sat up and looked out the glass doors to the pool... and very nearly choked on her sharply-drawn breath.

A body floated face down in the pool, blood curling in the water, around the head like some sickly-red halo. Kirsten, her heart pounding up in her throat, was on her feet in seconds, never tearing her eyes from the pool. She went to the door, had her hand on the knob and stopped, suddenly feeling like the red herring in some B-movie horror flick. Her eyes quickly assessed her surroundings, looking for anything out of place... anything that would suggest an intruder still on the premises. Finding nothing, she flung open the door and rushed to the pool, instantly recognizing the body by the attire -- leather jacket, gray hooded sweatshirt, faded blue jeans. By the time her eyes reached the blood-stained blond hair, she had dropped to her knees, weeping silently.

The only sound that escaped was his name. "Ryan..."

Without thought, she dove headfirst into the pool and rushed toward him as quickly as she could in the armpit-deep water. The blood floated all around her, stained her nightgown pink, as she grabbed his hood and turned him over. Her sobs started anew as she saw the blood still trickling from his temple. "No, no..." She pulled him into her arms and leaned her forehead against his temple. "You said you wouldn't... you said..."

Through her tears, she spied the gun at the bottom of the pool and fleetingly wondered where he would've even acquired it. Not that it mattered now. Kirsten had to gasp for breath through her sobs; her entire world exploded around her with that single gunshot. She couldn't live without Ryan. She didn't want to live without Ryan. Ryan was her constant in an ever-stressful, ever-frustrating homelife. Ryan was the one thing that kept her sane, kept her from reaching for her once-beloved alcohol. He changed her life for the better the moment he came into it. Without him, it wasn't worth living.

Kirsten stopped crying, everything around her deathly silent. She pulled away from Ryan and touched his temple, pulled her hand away and looked at the blood staining her fingertips, as if in slow motion. She rubbed her thumb and her fingers together, smearing the blood; then she reached up and wiped her forehead, wiped the blood clean from where she'd leaned against his temple. And then she closed her eyes, closed her mouth, closed off her thoughts. She slipped under the water, pulled Ryan with her as she submerged herself, held herself under with her hand against the side of the pool.

Her heart thudded in her ears, slowing the longer she stayed under. Her chest tightened, and she tightened her hold on Ryan. The last thought she had was that she felt oddly, suddenly free just before everything went black.


Kirsten sat up in bed with a loud gasp, choking for air as if she'd resurfaced from being underwater. Her chest ached and her throat was tight with unshed tears. As she gasped and coughed, she started to cry. The coughs became sobs as she tugged at her nightgown, which suddenly felt restricting. Her eyes darted out the doors, toward the pool, watching the water glow from the underwater lights -- no blood, no body -- just a pristine aqua met her eyes.

Her mouth felt dry, and it was times like this that Kirsten craved vodka. Or a screwdriver -- vodka and orange juice. Remembering that no matter how bad things got, she had to stay clean for the sake of her family, she settled on straight orange juice. She pressed the back of a shaking hand to her lips, choking back a sob as she instinctively got up and headed for the kitchen. Her throat was still tight as she inwardly tried to rid herself of the images hanging over her head like a storm cloud.

Kirsten cried out when she crashed into a warm body, and looked up into crystal clear blue eyes -- full of life, full of warmth -- as her name was spoken with concern. "Kirsten?"

Suddenly the sight of him there in front of her, alive and healthy once again, was too much for her to bear; his name came out on another choked sob, "Ryan!" and then she had flung herself into his arms, bursting into tears again.

Ryan caught her without hesitation and banded his arms tight around her, snuggling her against him and leaning his face into her hair. "I heard you screaming," he murmured. "It scared me. I had to come and make sure you were okay."

Kirsten snaked her arms tight around his neck and buried her face against his (bare, very bare) chest. "I'm not okay," she cried, "Not even close."

"You're trembling." He rubbed her back and kept one arm tightened around her waist, pressing her as close against him as he possibly could.

Problem was, that wasn't close enough for Kirsten. If possible, she wanted to climb inside him. But his presence was still calming, soothing. Her crying ceased and she just stood catching her breath against him.

"Did you have another nightmare?" he asked, lips on her hair.

Kirsten nodded against him and felt her breath bouncing back at her off his chest. Without thinking, she dropped a chaste kiss just over his heart. "You were dead. Again. Shot yourself and landed face-down in the pool."

She felt, without seeing, his eyebrows going up. "Yikes."

"I couldn't stop crying, Ryan, I couldn't breathe." Kirsten turned her head and rested her cheek over his heart, able to hear it thudding under her ear. It was a comforting sound; reassuring. She wrapped her arms around his waist. "Julie was right."

He rubbed up and down her back again and kissed the top of her head. "About what?"

"You have to know how I feel about you before something terrible happens."

Despite the serious turn the conversation had taken, Ryan chuckled lightly. "Like what, an earthquake? Killer bees?"

"Before one of us dies," she replied gravely, in no mood for joking around.

"Kirsten..." Ryan pulled gently away and searched her eyes, shaking his head. "You're letting these dreams get to you too much. You're fine. I'm fine. We're both fine. See?" He took her hand and gently laid it over his heart, covering it with his hand. "My heart's beating. Can you feel it?"

Tears filled her eyes and her mouth contorted in a sad frown, but she nodded. "I feel it," she just barely choked out.

His other hand found her waist. "Kirsten, I'm right here in front of you and I'm fine. Nothing terrible has happened."

"Yeah, but you've got to know." She buried her face against his chest again, her hand still over his heart. She traced across his skin gently, still just barely able to feel his heartbeat beneath the pads of her fingers. "Ryan, I can't do this anymore."

She felt the tension in his body, felt his hands stilling on her back, but he still held her. "Do what?"

Kirsten brushed her hand over his chest, over his heart, and dropped a kiss there. "The long looks..." She pressed another gentle kiss to his collarbone and heard him suck in his breath. "The quiet yearning..." She slid her hand up to his shoulder and kissed the hollow of it. "The way we can talk to each other with just our eyes..." She kissed his neck and felt him grip her waist a little tighter; felt his breath get shallow.

Ryan joined in as she continued strategically placing her kisses. His eyes closed as her lips touched the pulse point at his throat. His voice was throaty as he held her close. "That feeling when we get within a foot of each other..." When her lips caressed his jawline, he let out a shuddering breath. "How when you smile at me, I can't breathe..."

Kirsten touched her lips to the outer shell of his ear and felt his shiver. "How my legs start to shake when you look at me a certain way..." She kissed just under his ear. "There's gotta be an end to this." She kissed his jawline again and felt his fingers in her hair. "We can't go on like this forever Ryan, without eventually... letting those feelings out."

Ryan nodded as she kissed his chin. "You're right," he murmured, and tipped his head down to capture her lips.

The kiss deepened immediately, a maelstrom of desire and love and lust and sadness. Tongues and limbs tangled, and Kirsten gasped as Ryan pushed her against the counter. "Lift me," she commanded him breathlessly.

Ryan gripped her by the hips and hoisted her effortlessly onto the counter, then cupped her buttocks and pulled her against him. Kirsten let her hands wander over his toned upper body, fingertips stroking down his bare chest to his abdomen. She untied the knot on his sweatpants as he pushed the hem of her nightgown up her legs.

He looked up at her through half-lidded eyes. "Y'sure?"

Kirsten never needed to think twice as she breathed, "Yes," and brought him back to her for another searing kiss. Sandy, Seth, the opinions of anyone else in Newport... all of that mattered not. Not right now -- the world had faded around them. Right now they were both alive, they were crazy about each other, and they would be together. She shoved his sweats and boxers down, meeting his eyes as they came to a silent understanding -- tenderness would come later. Right now it was all about assuaging their overwhelming need for each other.

Ryan pulled her close and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, tipped her head back and moaned as he slipped inside her. Her hands clasped his shoulders, pulled him toward her for a heated kiss as their hips moved in tandem. Kirsten was so damned close already and this had barely begun. She groaned Ryan's name and let the back of her head hit the cupboards.

As if sensing how close she was, Ryan slowed his thrusts, kissed slowly along her neck, and gave her time to adjust. The tenderness settled over them... though it was no less passionate. Ryan stared into her eyes, his own hooded with desire, as their lower bodies continued their dance.

Kirsten felt intoxicated, flying higher than any amount of alcohol had ever taken her... all from the look in his eyes. Those blue, bottomless eyes that were so full of life in that moment that she wanted to cry. She blinked back her tears and swallowed her sadness, unable to stop herself from letting out what was on the tip of her tongue. "I love you."

A soft groan escaped his lips and he leaned in to kiss her, pulling away to stare into her eyes as he returned earnestly, "I love you too."

Kirsten wrapped her arms around him and drew in her breath when he wrapped his arms around her in turn, holding her as she met him thrust for thrust. That need for release came over them again, overrode the tenderness, and Ryan's movements sped up accordingly. Kirsten moaned her approval, clutched him tighter, and pretty soon they had tipped over that edge into glorious nothingness, slumping against the cabinets together.

Kirsten closed her eyes, listened to her heartbeat and felt Ryan's beating against her chest in the same rhythm. "I meant it," he mumbled into the crook of her neck.

She chuckled breathlessly, smiling a mile wide, and nodded. "So did I," she breathed.

He pulled away with a smile, and tenderly brushed the away the hair that was matted to her sweat-dusted forehead. "What do you say we get some sleep?"

Kirsten nodded, still unable to wipe away the smile on her face. "Okay."


Kirsten awoke hours later, blissfully exhausted, lying on her stomach in Ryan's bed. Ryan was nowhere to be found.

Kirsten frowned sleepily and looked around the poolhouse for him. "Ryan?" She sat up and reached for a nearby beater, pulling it over her head before she grabbed for his sweatpants. "Ryan..."

She went to the door and opened it, first looking in the pool instinctively. Luckily, he wasn't there. Next, she looked around the patio and still saw no sign of him. So she next tried the kitchen. She furrowed her brows as she was again met by nothing. "Ryan?"

Panic began to seize her. He had disappeared. Almost as bad as finding him dead, he was just gone without a trace. "Ryan!" she began calling out frantically, her throat tightening. Where the hell was he?

"Hey, sorry," his voice made her jump as he came into the kitchen from the entryway. "I remembered the door was unlocked, so I went to take care of it."

Kirsten, overjoyed that he was okay, threw her arms around him and closed her eyes when she felt his surprised chuckle against her chest. He held her tight in return. "What's the matter?" he asked softly.

She shook her head. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

Realizing why she had panicked, he simply held her and stroked her hair. "Oh, Kirsten."

She sighed against him and burrowed her face into his neck.




Kirsten's eyes fluttered open at the sound of her name and she was met by the sight of a bare chest, millimeters away. She had been snuggled into Ryan's chest, both of them on their sides facing each other. His arm was around her waist and he was propped on one elbow, peering down at her curiously. Kirsten, without moving her head, lifted her eyes and peeked up at him. "Hi."

Ryan chuckled at her choice of greeting and teasingly echoed, "Hi."

She rubbed her eyes. "What time is it?"

"Almost six. See?"

Sure enough, when Kirsten propped herself up and glanced out the glass doors of the poolhouse, she was met with dawn's orange light.

"Did you have another nightmare?" Ryan asked of her, his eyes still tracing her face.

She smiled at him, and shook her head. "No." She rolled onto her back and sighed happily. "No, I think those are just about gone now."

His gentle smile set her heart racing as he softly, barely-audibly, replied, "Good." Then, he smiled, and leaned down to brush his lips across hers in a tender, romantic open-mouthed kiss.

Kirsten let her eyes drift closed and brought her hand up to caress his jawline before cupping his face. She drew her breath in through her nose slowly as she felt his hand close around her waist, tucking her halfway beneath him. "Since we're both up..." she murmured against his lips, her voice trailing off suggestively.

Ryan pulled away and she arched an eyebrow, watching his gorgeous smile spread across his face. Then he pulled the sheet over them both, and for the next several hours they proceeded to chase away the last vestiges of Kirsten's nightmares.


{x-posted to rystenlove}
thekiller00thekiller00 on August 30th, 2007 05:40 am (UTC)
That was a great ending !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I like how you finally got them together !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
a.: R/K; love burns brighter than sunshine;regalish on August 30th, 2007 11:39 pm (UTC)
Yay, thanks so so much! Glad you enjoyed this different spin on bringing Rysten together :D
(Deleted comment)
a.: R/K; save me from myself;regalish on August 30th, 2007 11:41 pm (UTC)
Haha yes, I HAD to pull out all the stops, angst-wise.

Glad you liked this one! I'm realizing more and more that it's more fun to write Kirsten as the aggressor, because honestly, the way that Ryan very obviously feels about her, he wouldn't push or try to take advantage. Although... y'never know. This is why I flop back and forth on this. Kirsten always has to take control of everything, so she might like someone else (*cough*Ryan*cough*) to take control and just... kiss the hell out of her :D :D :D
login_failed: Rystenlogin_failed on August 30th, 2007 03:15 pm (UTC)
Awesome. Simply awesome. Seems now that Kirsten will be quite reluctant to let Ryan out of her sight. You also revived Sex kitten Kirsten, much to my delight. And I loved how you transitioned from the dark Angst to the smutty goodness. Julie kicks ass. "What Sandy doesn't know won't hurt him that much." Kirsten now should thank Julie for giving her the idea to go have mind-blowing sex with Ryan.
It was very interested how you had Rysten listing their feelings/effects on each other.
Lastly, I want to comment on Kirsten's internal monologue, especially the part where she mentions Ryan changing her life for the better as soon as he entered her life. He taught her to show her true goodness, if not her wicked side!
A very nicely/awesomely done twoshot. Looking forward to more Rysteny goodness.
And Berkeley 1980 ;)
a.: R/K; does anybody know how it feelsregalish on August 30th, 2007 11:38 pm (UTC)
Oh that's right! I can't forget about that Berkeley fic. LOL I'm getting way too many Rysten-y ideas. I still have NO idea how I'm going to write 1980s Berkeley, considering, y'know... I was a miniscule baby/child for the second half of the eighties, and not born in the first half. Hahaha.

SO glad you're enjoying Sex-Kitten Kirsten! I'm starting another one where she does some more very vixeny things :D I greatly enjoyed writing her that way.

And I kind of wasn't sure about the way I had their feelings come out, with the little kisses, building up to the giant explosion. Glad to hear you thought it turned out okay.

Hahaha, Julie's SO much fun to write. It never gets old writing the way she acts/thinks. She has always amused me, ever since I saw the pilot. I don't think she got enough screentime, personally, but then again neither did Rysten, LOL.

More to come soon!
pipetgirl2pipetgirl2 on September 3rd, 2007 12:06 pm (UTC)
I agree with Logon_failed that this was just awesome. Ryan and Kristen just belong together.

a.: K; and i've never known a girlregalish on September 5th, 2007 05:51 am (UTC)
Aww, thank you so much! I love writing dream-sequence fics. Especially when they involve Ryan & Kirsten :D
(Anonymous) on September 20th, 2007 08:14 pm (UTC)
hey it's me ella!
awesome two parter..the nightmares really scared me..i just cant stand ryan being dead and kirsten crying..so sad!
very awesome!
hope u write more soon!
a.: R/K; and if i open my heart to you;regalish on September 22nd, 2007 04:18 am (UTC)
Re: wow!
Heee, thanks again, Ella! I'm so happy to hear you enjoy my fics!
Yu: And All the Fangirls Diedshikabane_mai on February 23rd, 2008 05:14 am (UTC)
WOO. HOT! Loved it! Loved that she was having nightmares of him dying. I think the last nightmare (the one of him shooting himself and landing in the pool) creeped me out the most. I dunno why... but I get this horrible vivid image. But anyway, I'm so glad Kirsten found comfort in Ryan and they got together! :)
a.: rysten; is my OTP;regalish on March 2nd, 2008 07:31 am (UTC)
Thanks! To be honest, that second nightmare even creeped me out as I was writing it, LOL. I had to step away for a bit and watch a sitcom, hehehe.

Glad you liked this one too! :D