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06 August 2007 @ 02:51 pm
All That She Wanted To Hear [CSI; Nick/Sara]  
TITLE: All That She Wanted To Hear
PAIRING: Nick/Sara
SPOILERS: "Living Doll"



As Nick Stokes sat in the middle of the desert in November, knees bent and arms draped over them, a soft voice beckoned his attention. He looked up into the sun to see his partner (and sometimes partner-in-crime), Sara Sidle, smiling down at him, the sun haloed behind her head.

"Hey," he greeted back, and slid to the side to give her room to sit beside him on the rock he was perched upon.

Her right shoulder touched his left and he felt the whole left side of himself tingling in response. She smiled again, closed-lipped, and tilted her head slightly. "Figured I'd find you here."

"It's impossible for you not to find me."

They exchanged a soft look, each thinking the same thing -- when he had been missing, buried alive, and she had been the one to find him. "Yeah," she finally murmured.

They sat in silence for a long moment; Sara mimicked his position and bent her knees, draping her forearms over them and clasping her right wrist with her left hand. The two of them sighed in unison and watched the stillness of the desert, and the city of Vegas beyond, sparkling in the sun.

"So... how are you?" Sara ventured after a few moments had passed.

Nick couldn't help but laugh, balking at the question. "How am I doing? How are you doing?"

She giggled and glanced down at her hands. She brought one up and tucked a few sable strands behind her ear. "I'm doing alright," she responded quietly. "Finally."

"Yeah?" He cocked his head toward her, both of them squinting in the sunlight.

"Yeah," she nodded. "It's been what, like a couple months now?"

"Two months and thirteen days," he corrected, wearing a rueful smile.

Her brows flicked upward at that. "You keep track?"

"Can't help it."

"Oh." She turned her eyes out to the desert. "Time seems to move so fast now."

"For you, maybe. Things have been moving a lot slower for me."

"Can I ask you something?"


"Was..." Sara hesitated, the wrinkle in her brow evidence of her thought process. "Was... Grissom upset at all while I was missing?"

"Well..." Nick tilted his head side to side, iffy. How should he respond?

Sara jumped right into his thoughts. "You've always been so honest with me, Nick."

He chuckled. "I'll take that to mean, 'lie and I'll kick your ass.'"

"Yes," she laughed back. "Please just tell me honestly."

"Grissom was very... reserved throughout the whole thing. He kept all his cards pretty close to his chest if you know what I mean."

Sara nodded, looking neither pleased nor disappointed. "Yeah, I do."

"I mean, even afterwards when we'd finally found you. I still didn't really hear him say much of anything." He tilted his head and amended. "Except for that time in the evidence room he pretty much blurted out that you were the only woman he's ever loved."


"Yeah, it was... shocking."

"And untrue."

Nick furrowed his brows at her. "You don't believe he loves you?"

"I think he did to an extent. But... I'm not the only woman he's ever loved."

"How do you know?"

"When you see him so much as glance at Catherine..." She trailed off, not needing to finish the sentence. Nick knew; had probably seen it himself. Everyone could see it.

"They've always had that... uh, special bond."

"Yep. And as much as I tried, I could never duplicate it. So, it's better the way things are now."

"You're okay with it?"

Sara chuckled ruefully. "I kinda have to be, don't I?"

He nodded. "Guess so, yeah."

Sara nodded at what was in his hands... what he'd almost forgotten about. "Who's that for?"

He held up the singular pink rose and smiled. "For you."

"Thank you. That's so sweet." She gently plucked it from his fingertips, smiling softly as she brought it to her nose for a sniff. "It's beautiful."

"Well then I gave it to the right person, didn't I?" He smiled over at her, and the smile was almost sad in nature.

She couldn't help but mirror the sad smile. "I'm sorry for not coming around more often. I just... needed to keep a distance for awhile. Until I was ready to come back."

"I understand." Nick tilted his head and grinned at her. "You were finally ready, huh?"

Sara giggled and sniffed her rose again. "Yeah. I wanted to see you. I missed you." She tilted her head and gave him a smile Nick could only describe as angelic and girlish in nature. "Any chance you missed me?"

Nick nodded and gave her a soft smile. "Every day." After a moment, he added, "I love you, Sair."

She searched his eyes and Nick watched hers fill with tears. He was immediately regretful and shook his head.

"I'm... sorry, I shouldn't have--"

She held her hand up to stop him, chin quivering as she shook her head. Nick couldn't tell if the crying was good or bad. Until her arms wrapped around him, tight around his shoulders. "That's all I've ever wanted to hear a man say to me," she said, voice shaking. He heard her suck in a shuddering breath. Nick could practically see the look on her face -- her eyes were probably closed, tears were probably running down her cheeks, and her lips were probably downturned. And he didn't even need to see her to know what was how she looked. That was how deep the connection ran.

"You know I love you too, right?" she whispered tearfully against him.

Nick nodded emphatically, a lump in his throat and eyes filled with tears. He held Sara tight and closed his eyes. "Yeah."

"Nick? Hey Nick!"

Nick opened his eyes and turned over his shoulder to see Warrick standing just a few yards away, regarding him with a furrowed brow and hands in the pockets of his jeans. He shrugged. "We've been looking for you for an hour. Who were you talking to?"

Nick turned around to where Sara had been and saw the rose lying on the rock beside him. He blinked back the tears still welled in his eyes and replied as steadily as he could, "No one."

When he looked up at Warrick again, he saw a sympathetic expression on his face. Warrick shook his head. "We all miss her, man."

Nick nodded and blinked back the last of his tears, standing up and brushing off his jeans. "Yeah, I know. But it's different for me."

Warrick nodded his understanding. "I know. But you've gotta know you're not alone in this."


Warrick jerked his head in the direction of their Denalis, parked side by side. "C'mon. Let's head back to the lab."

"Okay. Just... gimme a sec, alright?"

"Sure, man." Warrick turned and headed slowly back to the car.

This left Nick staring down at the rose, lying carefully across the area where Sara Sidle took her final breath cradled in his arms. He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Goodbye, Sara."

Then he turned, and followed Warrick to the car.


{x-posted to nicksara}
Any day nowand_affection on August 7th, 2007 12:56 am (UTC)
Oh, poor Nicky! This was so sweet and sad - it would be like him to keep going back to that spot, whether she's there or not.

Thanks for sharing this. Gave me the sniffles...
a.: moi; can i break the spellregalish on August 8th, 2007 11:43 pm (UTC)
Aww, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it (and I'm sorry it gave you the sniffles, hehe).

I always thought if something like this actually happened, it would affect Nicky moreso than anyone else. He's such a sweet, tender-hearted guy. And this is why we love him :D
Sheila: CSI; You light up the night.ladydetective on August 7th, 2007 02:36 am (UTC)
Even with all of it's angst (or maybe because of it) this was really, really sweet.
a.: S2; holding my last breath;regalish on August 8th, 2007 11:42 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!
Sheilaladydetective on August 10th, 2007 04:39 pm (UTC)
I really like this icon - do you mind if I borrow it, with credit?
a.regalish on August 10th, 2007 05:05 pm (UTC)
The under-the-car one? Certainly! :)

You can cred either regalish or bold_moves; doesn't matter.

Glad you like it!
Sheila: CSI; One wayladydetective on August 12th, 2007 09:31 pm (UTC)
Will do - thanks!
heartagram_lala: snicker - circleheartagram_lala on August 7th, 2007 04:35 am (UTC)
that was gorjuz.

so sad, but so well written. i really loved it!!!

long live snickers, hope to see more from you soon, you write them really well =D
a.: A2; don't dream too far;regalish on August 8th, 2007 11:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm glad you still enjoyed it despite the sadness :)

And I will hopefully have some more Snickers very soon! I love them oh-so-much :D
heartagram_lalaheartagram_lala on August 8th, 2007 11:42 pm (UTC)
its awesome to meet new snicker freaks, (thats a good thing by teh way lol) im a huge snicker freak, love em to death =D
a.: B/B; we could be heroes;regalish on August 8th, 2007 11:45 pm (UTC)
Hehehe, they're so great. At first, I didn't really notice them because I was just so into the Grissom/Catherine pairing (which is still my OTP despite how badly the writers ruined it); but then I saw either "Table Stakes" or "Evaluation Day" or something (I think E.D. -- that has the closet scene, yes? Where they look for peanuts?). Something about that moment just struck me, and thus my second fave pairing was discovered :D
heartagram_lala: snicker - circleheartagram_lala on August 9th, 2007 08:20 am (UTC)
yeah that closet scene is really cute, and they are so goddamn close lol.

i dont know when i first fell in love with them lol, but i did, hard and fast =D
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a.: G/C; and i'm tangled up in you;regalish on August 8th, 2007 11:40 pm (UTC)
Awww, thanks Anne! I was hoping that twist would work out :)

And I will ALWAYS work some G/C into a CSI fic, hahaha. In fact, I've wanted to work it in to other fandoms, but.... yeah. Doesn't work so well, lol. ;D
(Deleted comment)
a.: G/C; and i'm tangled up in you;regalish on August 9th, 2007 03:01 am (UTC)
Isn't that a gorgeous icon? It's by 2ndcommandlove. I nabbed it off graveshiftcsi -- it was THE icon that made me cave in and watch the S7 finale, hahahaha. I HATE MYSELF FOR IT, LOL, but oh man, I needed to see that GC'ness. And I'm glad I did, because the glasses!sharing and the arm-around-ness was amaaaazzziiiinnnggg. :D

I know, I've been kind of a poop about coming on to AIM or MSN, lol. What can I say? I get so tired after doing all my LJ stuff I kinda just pass out for the night, hahahaha. LJ is basically my life online now, hehe.
Lisa: snickers hauntedfailegaidin on November 17th, 2007 03:59 am (UTC)
You made me cry. In a good way - it was beautifully written. But still...I'm crying here.
a.regalish on November 17th, 2007 04:27 pm (UTC)
Awww, thank you so much! Sorry to make you cry, hehe, but thank you so much! :)