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03 July 2007 @ 06:44 pm
Being A Donaghy [30 Rock; Jack/Liz]  
TITLE: Being A Donaghy
CHAPTER 21: Shutting Off
FANDOM: 30 Rock
SPOILERS: Through "Corporate Crush"


Liz was still slack-jawed, still holding her water and Chai Tea when she returned to her office. She'd garnered quite a few stares from her writers on the way in, but she noticed nothing. Upon entering her office, she set her things down on her desk and stared at the Victoria's Secret bag that was waiting for her, on her chair.

"Hey Liz?" Pete's voice drifted into her office, followed closely by Pete himself. "You okay?"

Liz picked up the Victoria's Secret bag and dropped it on the floor as if it was on fire. Then, she slowly took a seat behind her desk and stared at her desktop. The silence in her head was practically deafening.


Slowly, she lifted her eyes to Pete's. "Jack's in love with me."

Pete just stood in the doorway and stared at her; a vertical crease appeared ever-so-briefly between his eyebrows before he shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned on the doorframe. "Okay..."

"He told me."

Liz watched his eyebrows fly up. "Just now, I'm guessing?"

She nodded slowly, and then cast her eyes to her desktop again, slowly shaking her head. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

Pete took a seat across from her desk, and she looked up (slowly, again -- everything was moving so damn slowly!) to catch his sympathetic gaze. "What wasn't?"

"All of this. None of it was supposed to happen. Gary should still be running the show, not dead. Jack shouldn't have been promoted. I shouldn't have ever met him. He shouldn't have taken it upon himself to watch over me every minute of every day. He wasn't supposed to want to be 'friendly' with me, and he wasn't supposed to make me into a better person. He shouldn't have lost the microwave division and gone nuts about getting married. He should never have asked me to marry him. And I really should not have said yes."

Pete opened his mouth, looking like he was about to say something, but Liz's train of thought wouldn't stop.

"I shouldn't have moved in with him, either. Big mistake. And we weren't supposed to have a big reception at the Plaza, and we shouldn't have danced. Any of the times. Jack's mother was not supposed to love me, and Jack shouldn't have tried to kiss me out in the gardens. We shouldn't have spent our wedding night at the Plaza, and we really shouldn't have made out in his suite the next day."

Pete's eyebrows flew up at this in shock, but Liz took no notice.

"We shouldn't have called and texted each other so much over our separate honeymoons and Jack shouldn't have come back early to surprise me. But most of all, Jack really should not have fallen in love with me. That, above all else, was really not supposed to happen."

Pete was silent for a long moment, contemplating her... before he shrugged, sighed, and confessed, "I don't know what to say to that."

Liz figured not many people would know what to say to that. "He really shouldn't have told me he loved me." She became indignant, almost, reliving that moment. "I mean, how dare he? Right?"

Pete nodded with slightly wide eyes. He looked kinda scared of her. "Yeah. Right."

"I mean, I was just doing this as a favor, and he goes and falls in love with me!" She blew a rather unfeminine raspberry through her lips and shook her head at Pete.

Pete shook his head in return, feigning disgust. "Bastard."

"What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Well, just... go talk to him. Let him down gently. Tell him that you just don't see him that way."

Liz nodded emphatically. "Yeah. Yeah." Then, she looked down at her desktop again, and bit her lip. "Except..."

Pete nodded knowingly. "Except you're not sure you don't feel the same, right?"

"Jenna thinks I should seduce him." She glanced up to gauge Pete's reaction. She wouldn't know what to do with herself if he thought it was a good idea, too.

Pete shrugged facially. "Well, I don't know about that. But, I think you need to do something to figure out how you feel about him, once and for all. Otherwise you'll keep going back and forth about it and it'll drive you insane. Which..." he studied her, "would not be a long trip, at this point."

Liz was beyond caring that a joke was made at her expense, and instead sighed. "Thanks, Pete." She grabbed her Victoria's Secret bag and stood up.

Pete followed suit, his hands back in his pockets. "So, what are you going to do?"

Liz nodded once, resolutely. "I am going to go home, and hide in my room until I figure out what to do."

Pete nodded. "Sounds like a plan."

Halfway out the door, she stopped and turned around. "Will you--"

Pete nodded knowingly. "I'll tell Jack you took a half-day."

"Thanks, Pete." She pecked his cheek gratefully and ran out the door.


Liz spent the rest of the afternoon and into the evening shut in her bedroom, sitting ramrod straight against the headboard and gnawing on her fingernails with the covers pulled up to her armpits. She'd changed into the nightie Jenna bought for her, against her inner protests, and promptly decided upon examining herself in the mirror that from now on, Jack and Jenna should do all her shopping. They both seemed to have a knack for choosing things that fit her perfectly.

And the nightie was still modest while being sexy at the same time. It was made of black silk, with spaghetti straps, and sliced her at mid-thigh. A slit on the right side crept to her upper thigh and Liz was almost loathe to admit she looked drop-dead gorgeous in it. Which freaked her out. Which was why she crawled under the covers and secured them under her arms. Nobody could see her like this.

She heard Jack come home, and waited for him to call out to her, but she heard nothing. Instead, she listened to the sounds of him puttering around in the kitchen and then the living room. She heard him turn on his meerkat show, but surprisingly she heard no laughter from him like she usually did. Her legs kicked restlessly under the covers, and she folded her arms across her bedspread-covered chest as she wondered whether or not to call him in there.

Liz hemmed and hawed over it for so long, she heard the television go off. She looked over at the clock and noted it was already a quarter past eight. But surely Jack couldn't be turning in for the night yet? A part of her felt guilty, like she should be saying or doing something... but what was there to say or do? He spilled his guts, admitted how he felt... and then apologized for it. And instead of going to talk to him, what had she done? She'd gone home early and shut herself in her room.

Liz dropped her head down, into her hands. She decided that sometimes she was really a bitch.

It was at that moment, mid-self-hate, when she heard the soft rapping of knuckles on her door. She looked up to see Jack poking his head in, looking a little apprehensive about being there. "Jack."

Obviously, he took that as invitation to come in, because he did, and went right over to the bed, carefully sitting down at the edge on her side. He kept his eyes downcast on the comforter, as if the floral pattern was highly interesting, while he braced himself by pressing a hand into the mattress, on the other side of her legs. Liz swallowed, hard, and waited for him to say something.

He drew his eyes up to hers. "Lemon, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean--"

"Please don't tell me you didn't mean it, Jack, if you meant it," she shook her head.

He looked down at the comforter again. "Fair enough."

Liz was almost captivated by this side of Jack. She'd never seen him this way before. So ashamed of himself, so deflated. This is what love did to him? Was this what he was like just after Bianca had left him? Suddenly she was desperate to know.

He met her eyes again... searched them. Liz did nothing but stare right back. He shook his head slowly, holding her gaze. "I never should've dragged you into this. I never meant to do this, or feel... all of this." He chuckled mirthlessly for a moment. "I certainly never meant for you to find out about it."

This made Liz frown, and she leaned forward just a little bit. She ducked her head slightly to recapture his gaze, but kept her arms folded across her chest. "You were never going to tell me?"

Jack tilted his head... a half-shrug. "Sure, I would've told you. Eventually."

Her brows knit together in confusion. "When?"

He gave a facial-shrug, then. "Once the marriage was annulled, most likely."

Her brows twitched upward, and then quickly knit together in confusion again. "O... kay..."

Jack looked down at the comforter again, awkwardly... and Liz was struck by how boyish he seemed in that moment. He was no longer the brash, right-wing corporate alpha-male she had come to know over the past year. He was just a guy, who laid his heart out there... and, weirdly, decided to apologize for it.

And then, suddenly, she couldn't help it. She reached forward and laid her hands over his face, then drew him in for a long kiss. She felt the surprise, the tension riddle his body, but after a moment he kissed back. Man, did he ever kiss back. He kissed her like he was never going to kiss anybody ever again. Liz scooted closer, still holding his face while they kissed, and sucked in her breath through her nose when his hands closed around her waist.

She kinda felt the comforter slipping, but she was also kinda beyond caring, because Jack still hadn't stopped kissing her. And she was pretty okay with that. His hands slid a little higher on her waist, over the silk material of the nightie... and this was when he pulled away.

Liz almost wanted to cover up again, until she saw the look on his face. His eyes were moving over her, raking all over her, painstakingly slowly, taking in what he could see of the nightie down to where the comforter pooled around her hips. Then, he dragged his eyes up her body, equally as slow, and met her eyes through his lashes, his mouth forming a small, surprised 'oh.'

There was no denying it as much as Liz would've liked to -- that look on his face was really, unfortunately, unbearably hot. As was how forcibly he cupped the back of her neck and pulled her in for another breath-stealing kiss. Liz felt a small noise emanating at the back of her throat and realized with a start -- holy crap, did she just moan? While Jack was kissing her?

Apparently he took that as a bad sign, or a protest of some sort, because he suddenly jumped back from her, jumped up from the bed and walked away a few paces, murmuring, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." It kinda reminded her of that time he had to fake yell at her in front of those GE guys.

It left her wanting him to kiss her more -- endlessly, really -- as well as do... other things to her. God, what was happening to her? It was official, she had lost her marbles. But... she kinda didn't mind. She was still tingly, all over, from kissing Jack. Her heart was racing, and he was still looking at her like he wanted to rip her nightie off.

As if reading her thoughts, he spun around and closed his eyes. "Lemon, I'm sorry. I just... keep digging myself deeper and deeper, and--"


"What?" He still didn't turn around to face her.

Liz rose up on her knees, and the comforter fell away completely. She smoothed her hands over her nightie, nervously smoothing out imaginary wrinkles. "You said you love me."


"You said you love me," she reiterated, a little louder.

"Against my better judgment, yes. I love you." This time he turned around, and his eyes were pretty much glued to what he could see of her legs.

Liz was all for it this time, as she bit the bullet -- yet again, just like with the first kiss -- and told him, "So show me."

Jack's eyebrows just about disappeared into his hair, just like with the first kiss. "I'm sorry?"

She moved closer to the edge of the bed on her knees, and reached out to brace herself with her hands against his chest while he stepped up to her. Her heart jumped when his hands slid across her hips again. "Show me that you love me."

His mouth made that 'oh' again, and he started to lean in, but halted just centimeters from her lips. Liz remembered why she wanted to kill him a lot.

"I can't." He stepped back and frowned disapprovingly. "I don't like this mattress."

"Oh." She removed her hands from his chest and looked down almost accusingly at that damn nightie. "Okay." Her heart dropped.

Only seconds later, it leapt again as Jack suddenly scooped her up into his arms and kissed her. Liz smiled against his lips and looped her arms around his neck, kissing him back as he carried her down the hall and into the master bedroom. He kicked the door shut behind them and set her down gently, still kissing her, cupping her face while she held on to his wrists. He pulled away to smile at her -- lovingly, she realized -- before he kissed her again.

Then, Jack shut off the lights... and Liz finally shut off her brain.


{x-posted to 30_rock and jack_liz}
Tallymusical_junkie on July 3rd, 2007 11:58 pm (UTC)
This is officially the greatest chapter of any fanfic ever.

"I mean, I was just doing this as a favor, and he goes and falls in love with me!" She blew a rather unfeminine raspberry through her lips and shook her head at Pete.
Pete shook his head in return, feigning disgust. "Bastard."

I knew she would seduce him.
And the mattress thing... priceless.
I can't believe it's almost over!

*is psyched she got through a whole review without "the A word"* hehe!
a.: JF; falling through your sphere;regalish on July 4th, 2007 06:12 am (UTC)


Glad ya liked this one -- I brought Pete back because I ♥ him :D

And I couldn't pass up some awkward Liz seduction! *giggle*

Thanks so much, as always!

Chapter 22 goes up tomorrow! :D
(Deleted comment)
a.: J/L; our contradictions to quittingregalish on July 4th, 2007 06:14 am (UTC)
Heeee! Thanks so much, Jenndoll! :D

And *gasp!shock* it's replacing Rysten? EEEEP. Oh, I do so miss the Rysten. I found some hot new songs that are very Rysten'y, so I'm hoping I can crank out a new one of those soon!

In the meantime, I'm glad you're still enjoying this one! And yes, hehe. They FINALLY did it. It was torturing me, I had to let them! *giggle*
"He's having a go at my mother!" Seamus yelled.calamitysxchild on July 4th, 2007 12:44 am (UTC)

Awesome chapter!
a.: J2; he's magic and myth;regalish on July 4th, 2007 06:17 am (UTC)
HAHA! I know, I'm a little evil ;) Actually, I prefer the term 'wicked', hehe.

Glad you liked this chapter! And don't worry, for all my teasing, I've got an awesome (higher-rated) Jack/Liz oneshot fic in the works for everyone, heee!

Thanks so much!
Me: POTCsilent__dreamer on July 4th, 2007 12:45 am (UTC)
Liz figured not many people would know what to say to that. "He really shouldn't have told me he loved me." She became indignant, almost, reliving that moment. "I mean, how dare he? Right?"

Pete nodded with slightly wide eyes. He looked kinda scared of her. "Yeah. Right."

"I mean, I was just doing this as a favor, and he goes and falls in love with me!" She blew a rather unfeminine raspberry through her lips and shook her head at Pete.

Pete shook his head in return, feigning disgust. "Bastard."

haha fantastic dialogue there. This is stuff that I can picture Liz Lemon definitely saying.

"I can't." He stepped back and frowned disapprovingly. "I don't like this mattress."
haha that's really awesome.

Wow, great chapter...the ending...wow, very hot lol. Only 3 more chapters left?
a.: H/C; and i won't forget the wayregalish on July 4th, 2007 06:19 am (UTC)
Hehehe, thank you so much for the review!

I'm thrilled you enjoyed this chapter. I particularly love the Pete-and-Liz friendship, so I had to pay a bit more homage to that here. Their dynamic is pretty unique. :D

And yep, 3 chapters left after this one! But there are plenty more Jack/Liz fics in the works!

Thanks again!
Uther Pendragon's Loyal Wench: will licking skatefirthgal on July 4th, 2007 01:06 am (UTC)
Oh, you have no idea how much I love you right now! I just had this big falling out with my nephew's parents and I'm still steaming angry at them, but you just improved my mood so much!!! That was an amazing chapter. Gah, the tension between them in the bedroom. *fanning self* And the way his eyes raked over her when he caught sight of her nightie. So, so sexy. Brilliantly written chapter, had my heart racing through the whole bedroom scene. And that last line was such a great, non-dirty way of saying that they had sex. Loved it!
a.: L; i learned the truth at seventeen;regalish on July 4th, 2007 06:21 am (UTC)
Awww, that's a bummer, I'm sorry to hear that! Glad I could lighten the mood a little, though. That is what I always aim for :D

Glad you liked this chapter! Anything relating to Jack/Liz lovin' I'm still a little skittish about. You guys always ease my nerves. I've actually got a higher-rated J/L fic in the works because of a couple suggestions, lol... let's see if I can go through with it! Haha.

Next chapter goes up tomorrow! Thanks so much, as usual, for the kind reviews!!
Meggars: 30 Shock and Gaspcarolelombard on July 4th, 2007 01:14 am (UTC)
Incredible. Just incredible.
a.: JF; i'm walking on clouds of white;regalish on July 4th, 2007 06:22 am (UTC)
Hehehe! Thank you so much! :D
She was mean and she had seashells in her hair!: 30r; jl & date?dollsome on July 4th, 2007 01:35 am (UTC)
"I can't." He stepped back and frowned disapprovingly. "I don't like this mattress."


Also, guh. This chapter needs to be worshiped.
a.: J/L; feels just like i'm fallingregalish on July 4th, 2007 06:23 am (UTC)
HEHEHE! Thank you muchly, my dear! This chapter was extremely daunting (but oh-so-much-fun) to write, so I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Next one goes up tomorrow! :D
majandratoomajandratoo on July 4th, 2007 01:59 am (UTC)
WOW. As much as I love this pairing, I never could quite see how they would cross that line when they came to it. Because, they are *them* and so stubborn and hard-headed. And yet, this was elegant, emotional and very real.
Passionate, without being randomly lustful.
It was perfect.
a.: J/P; you could be happy;regalish on July 4th, 2007 06:25 am (UTC)
Awww, thank you! That means so much to me, sincerely! I'd had a hard time trying to get them past that line, because like you said -- they're *them* and quite stubborn, so this chapter was a little nerve-wracking initially. I'm glad it went over well :)

Chapter 22 goes up tomorrow night!

Thanks so much, again! As usual - you have made my day ;D
(Anonymous) on July 4th, 2007 02:24 am (UTC)
Finally!!! But I thought Liz was going to say "Oh Jack I love you too" like every fic that I have read however I like it this way better, it is more realistic, more true.

Officially this is my favorite fic ever and going to print it all and re-read it on my mini vacation(something fun and worth of reading) Just Incredible!
a.: L; and sharp as a tack;regalish on July 4th, 2007 06:27 am (UTC)
Why thank you very much! I'm glad you liked this.

Yeah, I didn't really want to use the patented schmoopy "I love you too!" declaration. It just didn't feel like Liz in that particular moment :D Glad the other direction seemed to work, hehe.

And you are so sweet to want to print this out! That totally warms my heart that you like it so much.

Chapter 22 goes up tomorrow! Thanks again!
imaclanni on July 4th, 2007 02:24 am (UTC)
amazing! i cannot believe that this fic has come this far, and you're still able to keep them in character. awesome!
a.: JK; cowboy take me away;regalish on July 4th, 2007 06:28 am (UTC)
Hehe, thank you so much! Glad to hear you think it's still in character, because I'm quite the stickler about that ;D

More to come tomorrow!
stephen@charleneforever.com: 30 rock: jack/liz (& booyah)michellek on July 4th, 2007 02:47 am (UTC)
Oh, my. I love you. (But not in a queer way! Or a creepy way.) Just. Awesome.

I kind of don't know what else to type.
a.: J/L; i did not go and shout itregalish on July 4th, 2007 06:30 am (UTC)
Hehehehe! Oh, I love you too! (But not in a queer way -- man, Jack's mom will never NOT be amazing)

This chapter was awfully daunting, but so fun for me to write. It always makes me kinda go "eeeeeek" when I'm inching toward love scenes for a new(er) pairing.

I feel like I'm starting to get the hang of it with these two, though. Maybe enough to up the ante in the next fic (which will definitely, HAVE TO BE, a oneshot, lolol!) ;D

Thanks again, dearie! ♥
amazin'jolovessean on July 4th, 2007 11:50 am (UTC)
ok, i've never commented on the other chapters before, (mostly because im always lost for words, but im sorry about that all the same :[) but i had to say something about this one! seriously, oh my god, it was just AMAZING. i think i might have to have a little bit of a cry when its all over, but im definitely looking forward to the ending! gah, thank you so much! this whole thing is whats getting me through summer lmao
a.: KW; take a trip and multiply;regalish on July 4th, 2007 03:09 pm (UTC)
Wow, thank you so much! That's very sweet of you to say! I'm so glad you're enjoying this fic. It has sincerely been just such a blast to write, and all the wonderfully warm reviews have kept up my inspiration to give you more and more Jack/Liz (because right now? They're my absolute favorite pairing to write).

It's been getting me through the summer hiatus to write this (because even though I didn't really "discover" the awesomeness of this show until after the finale, I STILL would really like second season to start like NOW, haha!), and the kind review means the world to me!

Thanks so much, again! Chapter 22 will be posted tonight ;D
csiAngel: csi chemistrycsiangel on July 4th, 2007 06:48 pm (UTC)

I do not have the words to describe how absolutely truly wonderfully brilliant this chapter is!!! Oh my gosh, the sexual tension!!! Superb writing, Caroline, I didn't want it to end (I never want these chapters to end, I fear seeing the TBC at the bottom of the screen as I scroll through)!!

I love this so much!!

I need chapter 22 now. Thanks.
a.: G/C; and i'm tangled up in you;regalish on July 5th, 2007 02:33 am (UTC)
Hehehe, thanks Jac! I did so enjoy writing the sexual tension in this one, so I'm glad you liked it too!

Thanks again, so much, as usual! (I love your icon, too, btw. I've seen it so many times and I never tire of how gorgeous it is -- so true, too. Oh, my G/C!)

Chapter 22 will be posted very soon!
Miamiecsi_miamie126 on July 5th, 2007 01:04 am (UTC)
This chapter, is by far... TEH BEST ONE. (Goddamnit, you made me type in L33T. I hate it when I type in L33T)

I need my dose of B.A.D now.

(Sorry for the short review, Will post a longer one and for the other chapters as soon as I finish my Marketing class.)

You sooo own me now.
a.: KW; i got a hunger and i can't seemregalish on July 5th, 2007 02:34 am (UTC)
Awww, thanks so much! Hehehe, glad you're still enjoying it!