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28 June 2007 @ 09:53 pm
Being A Donaghy [30 Rock; Jack/Liz]  
TITLE: Being A Donaghy
CHAPTER 17: Honeymooners
FANDOM: 30 Rock
SPOILERS: Through "Corporate Crush"


That was a really dumb thing to do. Kissing Jack. Making him kiss her. And it was really, incredibly stupid to let him kiss her again before he left. And again. The can was open and worms were everywhere. To make matters worse, she couldn't stop thinking about it for the whole stupid plane trip to stupid Hawaii. And all the way to her hotel, she replayed the kisses, the little subtle touches from the night before that had led her to make the dumbest decision ever. Well... one of the dumbest. Dennis was still the number one dumbest decision she'd ever made.

But this was a very, very close second. She needed to remind herself that this wedding, this whole big dumb marriage was just a facade; just a business deal that would be dissolved as soon as Jack was reinstated as head of the microwave division. This was just a favor. There was no need to bring kisses, and, like... feelings into it and stuff.

She had ripped into her present during the limo ride (which Jack arranged for her) to the hotel, and first pulled out a note from Jack stating that she "needn't try it on. It will fit perfectly," which intrigued and terrified her all at once. Then, after digging through layer upon layer of tissue paper, she pulled out a navy blue bikini. Her eyebrows raised in appreciation as she looked it over. It was modestly cut, which was perfect for her (damn him for knowing her so well), and she could tell just from looking at it that it would indeed fit her perfectly.

Soon after that she was alone in her hotel room (suite, which Jack booked for her, overlooking the ocean) and ran right over to the sliding glass door, stepping out onto the verandah and breathing in the dewy air. The view was incredible, and Liz grinned, looking over her shoulder to tell Jack how awesome the view was... only to remember that he wasn't with her. Then she frowned. Get perspective, Lemon, she told herself, and even that didn't work because the voice in her head sounded just like Jack now.

She was so totally screwed.


At the end of her first day in Hawaii, she was still totally screwed. And it didn't help matters that Jack had sent her texts all day telling her everything he was seeing in Paris. It especially didn't help matters when he called her just as she was climbing into bed, making her scramble to pick up the call like an anxious schoolgirl. "Hi!"

"How was your first day of our honeymoon?"

She chuckled and looked around the hotel room while pulling the covers up to her waist and leaning back against the headboard. "It was... relaxing. It was okay." She paused, and listened to the silence on the other end briefly before she asked him, "How was your first day in Paris?" Then, she looked over at the clock and frowned. "Isn't it tomorrow morning over there?"

"Well, almost afternoon. Yes. I'm eleven hours ahead."

"Oh." She pulled the covers up to her chest and shuffled her feet under the blanket, pondering what else could be said.

"I just..."

Liz sat up a little straighter, hearing the hesitation in his tone.

"I just wanted to call to say... goodnight, Lemon. And, I hope you had a nice first day."

She smiled and relaxed against the headboard again. "Oh. Well that's... nice. Goodnight. I guess actually, I should say good morning."

He chuckled softly on the other end of the line. "So, did you open your present?"

Her eyes drifted over to the swimsuit, laying on the dresser. "Yeah, I did. Thank you, Jack."

"I wanted to stick with something you'd be comfortable in, and with a color you'd be comfortable in. But at the same time, I decided not to choose anything too... frump-ish. You've been starting to get away from that now, which is good."

"Oh." She frowned, wondering what the hell she could come back with. She used to be so good at it... bantering with him. Somehow all her skill disappeared when he was on another continent.

"You're a lovely, attractive woman, Liz. You should start dressing with more confidence. I hope the swimming attire I chose for you will help encourage that."

"Um... sure, okay."

"Well... goodnight," he told her again. "Sleep tight."

She nodded, even though she knew he couldn't see this. "I will."

"And don't let the bed bugs--"

"I got it, Jack. Goodnight!" She disconnected the call with a smirk and tossed it onto the empty pillow next to her, shaking her head at it.

The rest of the week continued much like that. Jack would call her as he was getting up (and as she was going to bed) to say goodnight, and she would call him when she got up, to say goodnight to him. Sometimes the conversations would last well over an hour, much longer than they'd ever spoken to each other in person. Often-times when she woke up she would find a handful of text messages waiting for her, all from Jack highlighting what he was doing in Paris. She decided on the third night to start doing the same for him.

On the seventh day, Liz was down on the beach, stretched out on a lounge chair in one of the cabanas, sipping a pina colada and listening to Santo and Johnny's "Sleep Walk" on her iPod (yes, ever since the wedding she'd been on a fifties music kick), when her blackberry started vibrating on the table next to her. Picking it up, she smirked as she found yet another text from Jack, lamenting how sick he was of the French already. She had chuckled aloud and shaken her head, taking her earbuds out and texting him back that maybe it was time for him to move on to Spain. As she finished up the text, she looked up as she heard her name. "Liz Lemon?"

Her brows shot up when she realized who was calling to her... coming toward her, actually. "Oh my God... Dennis?"

He grinned. "Hey! How the hell are ya? What are you doing here?"

Still shell-shocked, she chuckled nervously, "I'm... I'm fine. And, I could ask the same of you!"

He rolled his eyes and made a face as if it was a big pain in the ass to be in Hawaii. What did she ever see in him? "My friend Greg thought it'd be funny to come to this lame singles weekend at Club Med. I came along for the free drinks and shit."

Liz nodded. He was articulate as always. "I see."

"What about you? God, you look great! Hey, while I'm here, maybe we should get a dr--"

"I'm married," Liz blurted out, panicked that he might finish that train of thought.

Now it was Dennis' turn to be shocked. "Get outta town. You got married? To who?"

"You remember my boss, Jack?"

Dennis laughed. "No shit, you married James Bond? Well he's loaded, I gotta give him that."

Liz wasn't quite sure how to respond, so she just took another healthy sip (gulp) of her pina colada.

"Where is he?" was Dennis' next question as he looked around.

Liz pondered the truth, then came to the conclusion that answering "he's in Europe" wouldn't really compute with Dennis' brain. So, she lied, "He's up in the room. He's got really bad sunburn."

As if on cue, her blackberry started to ring, with a Jack-specific ringtone (a polyphonic version of "New York, New York" because she thought it just screamed 'Jack'). Feigning a smile up at Dennis, she excused herself and answered the call cheerfully, "Hi, honey! How's the sunburn? I miss you down here."

Predictably, the first question out of Jack's mouth was, "How many drinks have you had, Lemon?"

"Mai-Thai's or Pina Colada's?" she came back with. "Either way, it's two."

"Good Lord."

"So, is the sunburn doing okay? You need me to come upstairs and rub some more aloe on your shoulders?"

"Lemon, what are you--"

"Oh by the way," she jumped in, glimpsing quick at Dennis, who was still standing over her, "Guess who I ran into, honey? You remember Dennis?"

"Is he standing in front of you? Is that why you're talking to me like that?"


"Put me on speakerphone."

Dread filled her stomach. "Jack..."

"Don't be a chicken, Lemon, just do it."

She hit the button for speakerphone and set her blackberry on the table, Jack's voice soon filtering out into the cabana. "Dennis! How the hell are you?"

"Obviously not as good as you, man. Wow, marrying Liz! Way to go. I'm just here milkin' some free drinks outta these Club Med losers."

"Sounds like a good time."

"So how the hell did you do it, man? I woulda loved to marry this woman."

Liz tried not to throw up.

"Because I mean, she always said you were kind of a pompous jackass."

Liz opened her mouth to apologize, but Jack just chuckled through it.

"Well, what can I say? I guess on both our ends the repulsion was just our way of repressing our desire for each other. True love wins out in the end though, doesn't it, darling?"

Liz gulped and wasn't sure what to think of that. "Yep."

"Now I'm sorry to cut this lovely conversation short, Dennis, but I'm in excruciating pain here with this sunburn. Liz, darling, I will need some more of that aloe if you don't mind returning to the room."

Liz jumped up eagerly, grabbed for her sarong and tied it around her waist, next reaching for her iPod. "Absolutely, honey, I'll be right up." She scooped up her blackberry and smiled at Dennis. "Nice to see you again, Dennis."

His eyes moved over her and it kind of made her miss Jack looking at her like that. It wasn't nearly as creepy. Anymore.

"Yeah, you too. Congratulations."


"Congrats, Jack," he shouted toward the blackberry. "She's a hell of a woman."

"That she is, Dennis. That she is. You take care."

Liz waved to Dennis and walked quickly toward the steps leading away from the cabanas and back up to the hotel. Clicking off speakerphone, she pulled her blackberry to her ear and sighed out in relief, "Thank you for getting me away from him. That was totally weird." She frowned. "What are you still doing up, anyway? Isn't it like one o'clock in the morning in Paris?"

"I believe so, yes."

Her heart beat faster and faster as she got closer and closer to her room, something telling her to rush as much as possible. "So what are you still doing up? Unless you're not on Paris time anymore?"

She stuck the keycard in the door and waited impatiently for the green light to flash. When it did, she yanked the door open and ran inside, something telling her Jack would be somewhere in there, waiting for her. "Jack?"

"What? I'm sorry Lemon, I think I zoned out. I've had a bit too much champagne."

After looking in every corner of her suite and realizing Jack was nowhere to be found, Liz deflated and sank onto her bed, on her back. She covered her eyes, blaming the stupid thoughts on too much sun mixed with too much alcohol. "Oh. That's okay. It's late, you should get to bed."

"Yes. I think you're right."

"Jack," she sighed, "This isn't working."

"What's not?"

"Me. In Hawaii. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but... I'm bored. I've got no one to talk to."

"Well I'm sure Dennis is still downstairs, eagerly awaiting your return. You could chat with him."

She chuckled at that. "Fat chance."

"It's better than having to converse with the French, Lemon. Then again, almost anything is."

Liz paused, deciding to address his disdain of the French at a later date. For now, her head hurt with the multitude of thoughts running rampant. "Jack, I think I'm going to have to cut this vacation short and go home a little early. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, Liz. If you're no longer having fun, I certainly wouldn't want you to stay. When would you like to return to New York? Tomorrow?"

"Yeah, probably," she sighed, untying her sarong and flinging it off to the side, considering napping in her swimsuit.

"I'll arrange your return flight and I can have a car pick you up from the airport. I'll send a text with the details, okay?"

She nodded, again aware that he couldn't see this. "Okay."

When they'd said goodbye and hung up, Liz rubbed her temple with one hand, trying to ease the throbbing in her head, while she dialed a familiar number with the other. Waiting for it to pick up, she closed her eyes. "Jenna?" Pausing, she listened to her friend's excited babbling on the other end of the line. "I can tell you about it when I get home. Right now I've got a major problem."

Without preamble, she confessed, "I think I miss my husband."


Song referenced: Sleep Walk by Santo and Johnny. Click the link to download!

{x-posted to 30_rock and jack_liz}
Tallymusical_junkie on June 29th, 2007 04:04 am (UTC)
That was awesome, as per usual.
Jack talking to Dennis was amazing.
Can't wait until they're back in the same time zone!
a.: J2; he's magic and myth;regalish on June 29th, 2007 06:12 am (UTC)
Hehe, thanks so much! Glad you liked this chapter. I HAD to bring Dennis back into it. He delights me with his stupidity :D
Une Frakkante Cylonne: Syd- summer- undercover_sydsunshine_queen on June 29th, 2007 04:32 am (UTC)
Ewwww, Dennis!

A delightful chapter, aside from the sad slurs against the French. Booooo, Jack!
a.: S; average everyday sane psychoregalish on June 29th, 2007 06:11 am (UTC)
Hehehe! Merci beaucoup!

Ne vous inquiétez pas, j'aime le francais. Mais Jack? Jack n'aime pas le francais! *giggle*

majandratoomajandratoo on June 29th, 2007 11:33 am (UTC)
Yes! Haha- I have to drive to DC this morning for a wedding, and HAD to check my flist one last time. HEE!
The text messaging was pretty cute, and I like how the fact that Jack has made all the arrangements for her serves as little reminders of him everywhere.
And the Dennis run in made me lol. The best part had to be when Liz ran back to the room, expecting him to be there. That was just very relationshipy and sweet. And "I think I miss my husband."! I can only imagine what Jenna has to say about that.
Also- Your "stresseater" icon above it soooo adorable. I think that was actually the line that made me finally 100% ship Jack/Liz. <3
a.: J2; he's magic and myth;regalish on June 29th, 2007 06:24 pm (UTC)
Hehehe! Isn't that stress-eater thing so awesome? That pretty much cemented me as a Jack/Liz shipper too. Haha! Two stress-eaters, how perfect!

Glad you liked this one! I had so much fun dragging Dennis back into it, haha. :D
Uther Pendragon's Loyal Wench: will blue undiesfirthgal on June 29th, 2007 03:58 pm (UTC)
Oh, this was marvellous as always! My heart was beating right along with Liz's as she was racing to her hotel room. I kept thinking he was just in the lobby and was going to surprise her after they hung up! Oh, I love how they are both miserable and bored without each other, so cute! Gah, I'm all giddy now since you've updated! I swear I'm giggling for absolutely no reason at this very moment. I love this story! I am so addicted to it. And man am I in love with Jack! Can't wait for the next update!
a.: M/J; make them laugh;regalish on June 29th, 2007 06:26 pm (UTC)
Awww, thanks so much! Glad you liked it, and that I was able to incite some giddiness :D :D :D

I admit, for awhile I considered having Jack show up in Hawaii to surprise Liz, but... as always, I love to draw the tension out, hehe! Call me evil ;)

More soon, hopefully! The muse is starting to cooperate and give me more chapters again, yay!
Sadako Yamamuraanonymousgirl7 on June 29th, 2007 05:44 pm (UTC)
Well... my co-workers think that I'm insane for giggle like an idiot to the monitor but the text messages thing, it was extremely cute and I couldn't help it.

I hate Dennis but bring it to the story was great (jealousy hint in Jack? ,I'm so crazy obsessed with the idea of a jealous Jack that I'm seeing it everywhere**maniacal laugh**)

Also are we going to hear about Colleen again?
Thanks for the update!! ^__^
a.: H/L; and your lips next to mineregalish on June 29th, 2007 06:28 pm (UTC)
Haha! Well hey, insane giggling toward the monitor at work is ALWAYS fun, hehehe. Glad you liked the text messaging, and the Dennis stuff (I LOVE the idea of jealous!Jack or jealous!Liz, too! *giggle*)

Honestly, I hadn't really thought about bringing Colleen back into it, but I might work something in to a future chapter, if I can think up something good. Thanks for the suggestion!!

More soon! :D
csiAngel: csi marg lolcsiangel on June 29th, 2007 09:05 pm (UTC)
Hee hee! Ha! She's so completely and utterly smitten :-)

A great chapter. I so wanted him to be in her suite. Ooooh you're cruel!

I love this so much!!!
a.: MH; there she goes again;regalish on June 29th, 2007 11:31 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! Yes, I am pure evil.



*giggle* If it helps any, I did consider having him be there. I toyed with the idea. But then I decided this way would be more fun.

And evil. *smirk*

Glad you liked this chapter, Jac! It's getting sooooooo hard not to allow Liz to be just completely in love with him like I already am. I can't watch the show now and NOT want to pounce on him! Hahaha. Oh, Jack.
She was mean and she had seashells in her hair!: 30r; liz & partydollsome on June 30th, 2007 09:26 pm (UTC)
DENNIS!!! Oh my goodness, yay. Is it bad that he brings me weird amounts of joy? His pure slovenliness is so bewitching to me. And, bwahaha, that whole scenario was just fantastic.

Without preamble, she confessed, "I think I miss my husband."

a.: J/L; to me you're strangeregalish on June 30th, 2007 09:49 pm (UTC)
DENNIS FTW. Seriously, hahaha, he delights me. Mainly because Dean Winters ALWAYS plays dumbasses like him. ALWAYS. He was one on SVU, too. Plus, I'm unnaturally attached to that one scene in "Jack Meets Dennis" at the fancy restaurant, about the tie.

"That's quite a sharp tie you've got there, Dennis."

"Yeah, that douchebag up front made me wear it."

"Does he know you're the Beeper King?"

"I don't think so."

And okay, now I KNOW I'm watching too much 30 Rock, because I read that "HELLS TO THE YEAH, LIZ LEMON" in Tracy's voice! *guffaw*

Also? I ♥ your icon. The one-minute dance party MUST get incorporated next season!
She was mean and she had seashells in her hair!: 30r; jenna & muffin topdollsome on June 30th, 2007 09:56 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! Don't worry! I wrote the "HELLS TO THE YEAH, LIZ LEMON" in Tracy's voice. Kind of accidentally, but as soon as I put that last 'N,' I just knew.

I wish I had the courage to write Tracy. He is . . . remarkable.
a.: J/P; hey now don't dream it's over;regalish on June 30th, 2007 10:02 pm (UTC)
ME TOO! It's such a scary thought, though! In a review for a previous chapter (15, I think? With the wedding presents?) someone had said they liked the Tracy bit but wished it was more flamboyant. Haha, I wished it was too, but much like Mama Donaghy, HOW does one begin to write Tracy?? He's way more intimidating than Jack.

I LOVE that icon, btw. HAHAHA MUFFIN TOP!!! It's #1 in Israel.
stephen@charleneforever.com: 30 rock: jack/liz (and look)michellek on July 2nd, 2007 11:36 pm (UTC)
Hee, that Dennis stuff was awesome. The line I'm just here milkin' some free drinks outta these Club Med losers. made me laugh like crazy. Oh, Dennis. You were pretty gross, but you still amused me.

His eyes moved over her and it kind of made her miss Jack looking at her like that. It wasn't nearly as creepy. Anymore.


"It's better than having to converse with the French, Lemon. Then again, almost anything is."

I've been a little sick of the insults to the French over the past couple of years, but from Jack I find it pretty adorable. I still love him a lot more than I should. But he's so awesome, so I can't resist.

And I absolutely loved the way the chapter ended. :)
a.: TF; everything you areregalish on July 2nd, 2007 11:48 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! Why thank you! You have NO idea how much fun writing Dennis was. Oh, man. He delights me with his boorishness. (Is that a word? Heh, is now!)

And just to add a little disclaimer: I ♥ the French, hehehe. J'aime beaucoup le francais!

I just totally figured Jack would be the type to hate them, haha.

Glad you liked this chapter! I'm watching "Jack Meets Dennis" as I type this, btw. Oh, man.

"I wanna hold your hand, Lemon."