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27 March 2010 @ 03:28 pm
Liberty and Equality [Parks & Rec; Ron/Leslie]  
TITLE: Liberty and Equality
FANDOM: Parks and Recreation
PAIRING: Ron/Leslie
SPOILERS: "Tom's Divorce" (2x11)
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Leslie's stripper name doesn't exactly work for her, in Ron's mind.


*****

Equality.

Leslie's stripper name doesn't exactly work for her, in Ron's mind. First of all, there are very few stripper names beginning with 'E' that could work. You never hear of a stripper named 'Ethel' or 'Evelyn' or 'Emily.' Ron figures maybe 'Ebony' would be the only one that would work.

Sure, Leslie's all about equality, but that's not exactly one of the main principles a stripper holds near and dear. If Leslie wants a flashy, feminist, patriotic stripper name, she should go with something like... Liberty.

Ron nods to himself as he takes another bite of bacon. Yeah. Liberty. Liberty would work really well for her. Especially if she adds a 'Bell' or a 'Belle' on the end. Leslie "Liberty Belle" Knope headlining at the Glitter Factory. He can almost see it now.

She'd probably dance to something like "American Woman," in those ridiculously-tall pumps the strippers wear. Hers would have those big clear heels, probably with little white stars floating around in them. He can see her with long blonde extensions, curled and maybe pulled back a little on top.

Ron thinks she'd probably be dressed like Wonder Woman or some facsimile, red-white-and-blue all over. Stripper-Leslie would hook in the guys with her bright smile and big blue eyes. She'd flip those blonde extensions and spin around the poles with the same zeal and enthusiasm she puts into her everyday work.

Now that he thinks about it, maybe the Glitter Factory isn't the best venue for someone like Leslie. The Glitter Factory is so... low-class. And, it smells like a wet mop. Leslie would be one of those classy strippers, definitely. Maybe Ron would consider opening up a strip club and making Leslie the headliner. She'd probably make him name it after something to do with parks. Maybe 'The Playground' or something ridiculous like that. But it's Leslie, so he'd probably do it.

So Ron would open up a place called 'The Playground' and "Liberty Belle" would be his main attraction. He'd have to set aside money to hire a choreographer of some sort, for sure. He's seen Leslie's so-called 'dance moves,' and well... they leave a lot to be desired, to say the least. With her current skill-set, she would be able to walk in a circle around the pole, and that's it. Which just wouldn't do for his star, so -- yeah, he'd spend the money on a choreographer.

Of course, there'd have to be a breakfast buffet. Ron wouldn't even open the place if he couldn't have a breakfast buffet. Tom would want to promote the place, of course, because that's Tom. Donna could recruit some of her stripper friends from the Glitter Factory and maybe he could even get Mark to round up some of those skanky girls he used to hang around with.

But the point is, Leslie's idea of a stripper name sucks.

Which he decides to tell her shortly after he sits down with his breakfast food and crossword puzzle. "Your stripper name blows."

"What?" She wrinkles her forehead at him like he's nuts.

"Your stripper name. Y'know... 'Equality?'"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah it sucks."

"No it doesn't! It's... empowering."

"It doesn't suit you." He grabs something off his plate and holds it out to her, raising his eyebrows in an offer. "Bacon?"

She frowns, shaking her head. "No." Then, she cocks her head. "Ron, have you been thinking about me as a stripper?"

The Wonder Woman get-up flashes through his mind briefly and he blinks, shaking his head. "Of course not. I was just thinking about the name." He clears his throat. "Not about anything else." Like what outfit or shoes she'd wear, how he'd open up an entire club so she could be the head-liner...

"Huh. Well... what's wrong with the name? It's feminist. It's attention-getting."

"It's god-awful. Ya want something attention-getting? How about 'Liberty?'"

"'Liberty?'" She makes a face, glancing at the table cloth as she apparently gives it some thought. Then her tone comes out a little more pensive. "'Liberty.'" And she nods. "Maybe..."

"It's still attention-getting, it's still slightly feminist, and it's patriotic."

"Yeah, maybe you're right." She smiles. "'Liberty.' That's... that's actually kinda cute. And liberating." After another moment's thought, her eyes widen and she gasps a little. "What if I add a 'Bell' at the end of it? Or, no! 'Bell' with an 'e' at the end!" She's grinning now, nodding to herself. "Yeah... Leslie 'Liberty Belle' Knope. I like it."

Still smiling, she furrows her brows at him. "How did you think that up, Ron?"

Ron shrugs, still thinking of Wonder Woman costumes, tall heels with little white stars in them, and long blonde extensions. "Just came to me."



FIN



{x-posted to ronleslie and parksandrec}
 
 
 
berserk_dragonberserk_dragon on March 28th, 2010 04:20 am (UTC)
AH! This was great.
Liberty Belle!
a.regalish on March 29th, 2010 05:54 pm (UTC)
Heee! Thanks :D
(Deleted comment)
a.regalish on March 29th, 2010 07:08 pm (UTC)
Aww, thank you!

While I definitely love the fluff/adorableness of Ron/Leslie, there have to be these kinds of moments, too -- plus, you know Ron was totally thinking about it as soon as she mentioned her stripper name ;)

P.S. I haven't forgotten about your prompts! Still trying to work those into something :D
(Deleted comment)
a.regalish on March 29th, 2010 07:28 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha! AWESOME.
baqipitt on April 8th, 2011 01:17 pm (UTC)
Super-Duper site! I am loving it!! Will come back again – taking your RSS feeds also, Thanks.

a.regalish on April 24th, 2011 06:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks very much!! :)