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12 December 2009 @ 12:08 am
Superman and Wonder Woman [Parks & Rec; Ron/Leslie]  
TITLE: Superman and Wonder Woman
FANDOM: Parks & Recreation
PAIRING: Ron/Leslie
SPOILERS: Through "Christmas Scandal"
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: For Secret Santa this year, Ron gets Leslie. And decides that he wants to find whoever invented Secret Santa, then punch them in the face.


*****

For Secret Santa this year, Leslie draws Ron's name. Which is kind of cool, she guesses, because then she can get him a meaningful gift that says, 'Hey buddy, I love being your deputy' while at the same time it maybe scores her some brownie points in case she feels like doing something drastic with Lot Forty-Eight. Then Ron won't have to be mad at her when she gets in trouble.

Oh, who is she kidding? Ron wouldn't be mad anyway. Ron's always there to save her butt. Because that's Ron. Always keeping an eye on her. And her butt.

Now the question becomes, what is she going to give him? What says how much she really loves being his deputy? Well, she supposes a card could say that. She'd just have to write the words in there, but... she almost feels like she owes him something this year. He's done so much for her. He put his neck on the line for her when she got into all that trouble over the gift basket. Which he definitely didn't have to do. She knows that he's the type of guy that will throw you to a pack of wolves if you make him mad enough; but instead, he protected her.

And then there was that whole thing with Tammy. Boy she should've never trusted that crazy skank Tammy. Just because she looked like someone that could make you laugh, like a character on Will and Grace or something, that didn't mean she should've trusted her. Man, Ron should've been angry as hell at her for getting him involved with Tammy again. He should've given Lot 48 to Tammy just to prove a point. But he didn't. Instead he severed all ties, just because Leslie put his feelings first, like no other woman has ever done before.

Now that she thinks of it, Leslie decides that she's kind of the pioneer of putting Ron's feelings first. It makes her feel good for a few minutes.

But then she has to think of what to get him again and she panics.

**

For Secret Santa this year, Ron gets Leslie. And decides that he wants to find whoever invented Secret Santa, then punch them in the face. As much as he doesn't believe in government, he believes even less in Secret Santa. He only does it because Leslie makes him, basically, and says that if he doesn't participate that she'll call him a Grinch until New Year's, and...

Well. There's no way Ron Swanson is going to allow a cartoon nickname to be thrown around the office for weeks at a time. He just won't have it.

Unless it's 'Superman.' He'd be okay with that one.

And besides, Leslie is impossible to buy something for. Last Valentine's Day, he thought it would be kind of funny to buy her one of those stupid little-kid Valentines that says 'Be Mine,' only he crossed out 'Mine' and instead put 'My Deputy'; he even bought a little bag of candy to go with it. But then when he got to the office, Leslie was complaining about the Valentine's Day decorations April and Donna had put up, saying how it was such a misogynistic holiday. The Valentine ended up in the trash, and he wound up eating all the candy himself.

So. He doubts he'd be able to find anything Leslie would find acceptable. But then he thinks about everything she's done for him lately. Not all the stuff with the lot, that's not really important to him, but just ways that she's helped him. The whole thing with Tammy, for instance. Sure, she was the fool that got him involved with Tammy again in the first place, but she just happened to be the one to pull him back out, too. When she put his feelings first, it kinda tugged at something. He's not sure what. Not his heartstrings -- hearts don't have strings, and even if they did, his would be made of steel and virtually un-tuggable.

It was something, though.

And then the hunting trip. She took the fall for shooting him in the back of the head even though she didn't do it, just so he wouldn't have to tear anybody apart. Which was... nice, he supposes, since she had to have known how tired he was. He still would've been able to tear somebody apart, sure, but he would've been even more tired and pissed afterward.

What in the hell is he going to get her?

**

Leslie thinks Jerry has her for Secret Santa. Which is kind of a bummer, because he'll probably want to get her something really bland, kinda like him, so... socks or something. And she's got plenty of socks. So in meetings, she starts dropping hints. She starts making a lot of mentions of how there's this really hard-to-find Janet Reno action figure that she'd really love to have; she wants something to put next to her picture, but something that she can also pick up and play with as a symbol of female empowerment.

Yeah, Jerry's definitely going to get her socks.

And okay, she's decided to dip into some of her savings to send Ron on another hunting trip... but one without girls, and without Tom, so he doesn't get shot in the back of the head again. Because he deserves it. Hell, just yesterday, he held up a very important, very tightly-scheduled tree-lighting just so she could be there with them to light it up.

Ron's a pretty great guy, she decides, so... yeah, maybe he's worth losing a little bit of her savings.

Or a lot.

**

Ron is almost sure that Tom has him for Secret Santa, which is just going to suck. Knowing Tom, he'll probably give him some stupid gag gifts, like a toy rifle or something ridiculous like that just to remind him of what a moron Tom is. As if he needs a reminder.

Their Christmas party gets going and the gifts are passed out. He watches Tom like a hawk from the safety of his office, ready to point the barrel of his sawed-off gun at him... but then Tom walks over to April and gives her a gift. Ron frowns, and double checks his desk drawer to make sure Leslie's present is wrapped and safe. He knew what to get her the moment she started talking about those stupid Janet Reno dolls. He in no way was about to get her one of those -- if he wanted to get her something that masculine, he'd just give her a Stretch Armstrong doll. He ended up finding something even better.

So he grabs the gift and stands up, smoothing out his tie. If she called him a misogynist this time, then so be it.

**

Leslie watches all the fun and merriment from her desk, smiling as April opens a can of peanut brittle from Tom, only to have fake snakes pop out at her. Donna and Jerry are chatting over by their small Christmas tree, and so far nobody has walked up to Leslie with a gift.

Which is fine. Jerry can just keep his stupid socks.

Then she sees Ron coming out of his office and into hers, holding his hands behind his back and smiling just a teensy bit. "Leslie."

"Hey, Ron!" she smiles, and tosses him the Santa hat she bought for him. "Merry Christmas."

"Thank you!" He catches it with one hand and immediately tosses the hat on the floor behind him as he makes his way to her desk. "So. Secret Santa, huh?"

"Yep. Bet you're just wondering like crazy who yours is, right?"

"Not really. Here." He hands her the gift, which he wrapped in tissue paper.

Leslie's eyes light up a little bit, kind of like that Christmas tree from last night. "Ron! You were my Secret Santa?"

He nods, once. "I was."

"Wow! Ooh," she tears at the wrapping, "I can't wait to play with my Janet Reno doll!" When the paper has fallen away, he watches as her smile does the same. "...Oh."

Something in Ron kind of falls, too, when he sees that look on her face. Like his heart or something, even though that's impossible. His heart's too strong to fall down. Too strong to skip beats, too; in fact, it beats other hearts into submission it's so strong. He's Ron Freaking Swanson.

Leslie turns the slim box around, showing it to him like he forgot what he bought for her. "A Wonder Woman Barbie?" She raises her eyebrows, looking it over. "How..."

Ron immediately fills in 'misogynistic' with a nod.

"...sexist."

Wow, he was pretty close. He takes a couple steps toward her, and his stomach does something weird when she looks up at him with those blue eyes. They're bluer than they should be, really. He shouldn't trust a woman with eyes that blue. He starts to tell her why he bought her Wonder Woman, but she looks away before he can, and gets something out of her desk drawer, still looking like someone's killed her dog or something. She hands him an envelope with a simple, "Here."

He eyes her for a second before tearing open the red envelope. And he reads what's inside. "An open-end reservation at the Still Waters Lodge?" He looks up at her, frowning in confusion.

She shrugs one shoulder and smiles. "So you can go hunting." After a beat, she makes sure to tell him, "Tom won't be there. Neither will I."

Ron nods approvingly. He's absolutely fine with that moron Tom being nowhere near a firearm, but... for some reason, he doesn't think it would be that terrible if he took Leslie hunting with him again. He shakes that away and holds up the envelope, smiling. "Thank you, for this."

"You're welcome, Ron. And thank you for..." She holds up the box again and he can tell she's trying her damndest not to wrinkle her nose. "This."

Apparently she doesn't get it. So he lingers by her desk, watching her stare distastefully at the doll. "Leslie."

"Yeah?" She looks up at him.

He leans down and lets his heart do whatever it's doing -- falling or skipping or maybe attacking itself, he has no idea; he puts his mouth almost against the crown of her head as he tells her lowly, "The only woman that might be able to do what you do every day? Is Wonder Woman." Leaning back, he adds, "And I don't think even she would be able to hack it."

Leslie smiles a little and looks down at the doll, then tells him, "But she doesn't exist."

He just nods from the doorway, "Exactly," and goes back to his office.

Ron doesn't see the bright smile breaking across Leslie's face, and he makes damn sure she can't see the smile on his own face.

The next morning, her Wonder Woman Barbie is standing proud next to a picture of Janet Reno.



FIN



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{x-posted to ronleslie and parksandrec}
 
 
 
Uther Pendragon's Loyal Wench: giles buffy - hugfirthgal on December 12th, 2009 07:17 am (UTC)
ASDJHSDFHJA;AADJFHADSFHK;!!!!!!!! OMG, I AM SITTING HERE SMILING LIKE A LOON! OH GOD, THIS WAS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION! I so very much loved your characterizations of these two, Leslie especially, and there were SO MANY great lines in this, like Ron's heartstrings being made of steel, and Ron keeping an eye on Leslie's butt, and Leslie wanting a Janet Reno action figure, and Leslie calling Valentine's Day misogynistic, and basically every single line in this thing. RON'S VALENTINE TO LESLIE, OH GOD, RON, SHE WOULD HAVE LOVED THAT. And then the gift exchange just completely melted my heart. RON EXPLAINING HIS REASON FOR GIVING HER WONDER WOMAN WAS QUITE POSSIBLY THE GREATEST THING IN EXISTENCE. And then her smile, and then his smile, and all of my smiling, and just... THANK YOU FOR WRITING THIS. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. This was absolutely brilliant.
a.: giles; happinessregalish on December 13th, 2009 07:43 pm (UTC)
HEEEEE! YOU ARE TOO CUTE. I am SO glad you liked this. I am almost tempted to do a Valentine's fic and expand on the Ron-getting-Leslie-a-Valentine idea, but pfft. I'VE GOT PLENTY MORE. ♥ ♥
stresseaterstresseater on December 13th, 2009 02:28 pm (UTC)
CUTE. I have yet to catch up on P&R (I'm only up to the Tammy episode) but R/L is really growing on me. I appreciate the platonic side more but I think I could be swayed (*hint*with more fics*hint*, hee).
a.: ron/leslie; someone to save youregalish on December 13th, 2009 07:45 pm (UTC)
Thank you!! Ron and Leslie are brilliant, just you wait (although the Tammy episode was pretty darn shippy). I've got a few more fic ideas, so I'll turn you into a Ron/Leslie shipper yet, just you wait ;)
(Deleted comment)
a.: ron/leslie; huntersregalish on December 14th, 2009 04:19 pm (UTC)
YAY! Oh, you have no idea how excited I am that more people dig Leslie/Ron. They are so delightful together! Such an old married couple sometimes, haha.

I'm so glad you enjoyed this fic! I do have another one posted here (next entry, as a matter of fact), that I hope to have posted to parksandrec soon!!
(Deleted comment)
a.: parks; tammyregalish on December 14th, 2009 05:42 pm (UTC)
Thanks! These are actually my haphazard Photoshop creations lol. You are welcome to use them if you'd like! All I ask is that you credit me and/or my graphics comm pixelates if you use them. :D
(Deleted comment)
a.: parks; tammyregalish on December 14th, 2009 06:18 pm (UTC)
LOL I know. I love Megan Mullally ridiculous amounts. She's got just the right amount of sweetness in her face and voice to be able to play such a crazy bitch. :D
Avulcanicity on December 14th, 2009 02:08 pm (UTC)
like a character on Will and Grace or something
*snicker*

Fantastic! :D
a.: parks; tammyregalish on December 14th, 2009 04:20 pm (UTC)
Hee, thanks!! :D
lz1982: Ned Ryersonlz1982 on December 14th, 2009 02:21 pm (UTC)
Aah, so cute and very "them." I'm going to try tackling Leslie/Ron for my next fic (although I personally like Leslie/Ann too), so I'm glad someone else attempted it first...

I love Ron's heartstrings of steel, heh.
a.: ron/leslie; huntersregalish on December 14th, 2009 04:21 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed this. I say definitely write some Leslie/Ron -- there's not nearly enough fic for these two, and they're fantastic together. (Leslie/Ann is fun too, though I like 'em more as besties than anything else, heh!)

I've already got another Ron/Leslie fic up, and more to come soon! Thanks again :D
lz1982: Jerrilz1982 on December 14th, 2009 05:16 pm (UTC)
Awesome!
wolfiemuir_wolf on December 15th, 2009 07:50 am (UTC)
From the summary I knew I was going to love this fic, and yet it *still* managed to exceed my expectations! You have them down soooo very perfectly, that I could see it all happening and it was glorious to watch. ;)

EVERYTHING about this was amazing. I don't even know where to start. Ron's heartstrings of steel, Leslie thinking Jerry would get her socks, Ron's valentine, Leslie wanting the Janet Reno action figure, the entire end when you practically killed me ohmyfrickingod this is a work of beauty ;) hee I cannot stop smiling!
a.: penny; sweetheartregalish on December 15th, 2009 03:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you so so much, again! I'm glad you enjoyed this one. I adore writing these two so very much right now, I kind of don't want to stop.

More soon!! :)
omnomnom17: (mg) just say noomnomnom17 on December 15th, 2009 04:19 pm (UTC)
Oh, I loved this! You write them both so perfectly. I love the idea of Ron/Leslie- they just fit so well together!
a.regalish on December 16th, 2009 03:57 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!

I agree, Ron and Leslie just fit well together. :)
weehobbit: XMAS -- jolly happy soulweehobbit on January 1st, 2010 04:01 pm (UTC)
Oh my god, I just read both of your Ron/Leslie fics and they blew me away! Your Ron voice cracks me up with how spot-on he is. These are so cute I almost can't stand it! Also, KAREN!!!! ♥
a.: parks; tammyregalish on January 4th, 2010 06:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much!! I'm so glad you liked them! I really hope we get some more Ron/Leslie moments in upcoming episodes so I can get back into writing these two -- they're too much fun :D