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28 December 2007 @ 07:07 pm
This Guy [HIMYM; Barney/Robin]  
TITLE: This Guy
FANDOM: How I Met Your Mother
PAIRING: Barney/Robin
SPOILERS: Season three
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY:


*****

It had been going so well. So unbelievably well. They'd been able to keep the secret for almost six months without anyone knowing. Well... Marshall kind of suspected. They had the telepathic conversation about it, but Barney had been able to distract Marshall by alerting him to the cleavage Lily came in sporting. Telepathic conversation over.

Consequently, Lily started to suspect. But luckily, Robin was always extremely vocal in her disdain for him, so. Suspicions averted. For six months. And now it was all about to crash down around them. All because of him.

It all started when Robin began leaving her toothbrush at his place and Barney didn't freak out. He should've known something was wrong then. But at that time, she explained the logic behind it.

"Well what sense does it make for me to crawl out of bed a whole extra half hour earlier just to get home and brush my teeth and stuff when I could leave an extra toothbrush here?" Then she'd added a devilish smile, and one of those seductive hot-girl crawls across the floor to him (they'd been playing Battleship). "I could stay naked a whole half hour longer."

And Barney was game. Now he's wondering why the hell he consented to that.

It didn't end with the toothbrush, though. Next she started leaving spare changes of clothes at his place. And then Barney found himself cleaning out a drawer in his dresser (a drawer! A freakin' drawer!) for her. All without a sense of panic.

Six months in, Barney finally realizes something's gone horribly wrong. He was never this guy. He never wanted to be this guy. Ted was this guy. The guy that cleans out drawers for girls to leave their girly stuff in; the guy that rubs a girl's feet when she comes in bitching about the jackass new co-anchor she has to work with. The guy that can actually acknowledge there's a difference between fucking, having sex, and making love. When did he become this guy?

One morning as they're brushing their teeth together, maneuvering around each other to get ready like they're freaking experts at it, Barney realizes with a start that he actually likes being this guy. The guy that surprises a girl at work with a pink rose when he knows she's been having a bad week; the guy that can go to bed with a girl without having sex when she just wants to sleep. The guy that accidentally tells a girl he loves her, and then is nervous she won't say it back.

He's inclined to blame Robin. Since they met, she'd been challenging the very idea he had about women. Sure, she was hot, but... she actually had, like, more qualities other than the hotness. She could suit up and bro out like no other. She could make a mean bowl of soup when he was sick. She could take his ego and stomp all over it with sixteen utterings of the word 'no.' He'd never known a woman like Robin before. And he did love her. Even though he never wanted to.

It's all gone horribly, horribly wrong. It was just supposed to be sex. She hadn't been seeing anybody since she got back from vacation and since she dumped... Gayle? Kyle? What-the-hell-ever that dude's name was. And pickin's at the bars had grown slimmer and slimmer as the days passed, to the point where Barney actually feared he'd have to find a new place to hang out, like... grocery stores. Or, God forbid... singles night at the laundromat. Please.

So one night six months ago while they were left alone at their table at MacLaren's, sitting on the same side of the booth like usual, he made his proposition.

"So Scherbatsky, you seein' anybody as of late?"

"Not really."

"Nor am I." He'd done his best suggestive eyebrow waggle, and wasn't even deterred when she rolled her eyes and took another sip of her martini.

"Forget it, Barney."

"Fine, look at it this way." He'd angled himself in the booth to face her, to block her view of Lily or Marshall in case she signaled them to come and intercept. "Neither of us are seeing anybody even though we are damned gorgeous enough, we both don't want a relationship so there would be no pressure of any kind or any Tedding out--"

She'd smiled at this...

"And, let's face it. We've known each other for awhile now. I bet we could figure out what each other likes. Y'know... in bed."

Then she had stared at him for the longest time; even took another sip of her martini mid narrowed-eye stare. Barney wondered whether or not she was contemplating suicide to get out of this conversation when she finally said, "Alright, Barney. You've got a deal. No strings. No attachments. No pressure."

And he'd nodded. "No problem."


And so from that point forward, they had basically become two close friends who got naked. Together. And then had sex. A lot. And that was great. The sex, too. And there was no pressure of any kind, no need to turn it into a relationship, no attachment whatsoever. Three months in, though, he noticed things started to change.

He and Robin had never been exclusive -- it wasn't a real relationship after all. But after three months, they just kind of... stopped actively seeking dates from other people. There was a lot of laser tag, a lot of going to really bad movies just to try to have sex in the back of the theater to see if they could get kicked out (which they did, a couple times, and it was awesome) during that time. And then... after the fourth or fifth month, their Fridays, sometimes Saturdays were sometimes just kind of naturally taken up by each other. Implied dates. And it was really hard to still keep things a secret from Ted and Marshall and Lily, because they were, unfortunately... kind of in a relationship now. Though neither of them ever called it that.

And now here they are, six months in, and everything's been turned upside down. All because of him. All because he let her have a drawer, and he told her he loved her. Well okay, some of it was her fault. She didn't protest the drawer; no, instead she just happily put her stuff in it. She didn't freak out when he told her he loved her like she would've done a year ago if she hadn't already gone through this song and dance with Ted. No, instead she just tilted her head and said it back in a voice like it was no big deal. Complete with a shrug and everything, and then the suggestion that they play Strip Battleship (new game they invented, and it's awesome).

And he supposes it's a little her fault because she's not actively helping him get dates anymore. But then it'd be more of his fault because he's not doing the same for her. They're just... not dating other people anymore. And it's kind of his fault because he's let himself become this guy -- the guy that falls in love and lets a girl move in with him when her rent spikes sky-high. The guy that eventually tells Marshall (and Lily and Ted) about falling in love with a girl because it's just too hard not to anymore.

He hates that he doesn't mind being this guy anymore. Because it's this guy that's handing over his credit card at the jewelry store. And it's this guy that's going to put his heart on the line tonight.

It's this guy that will be proposing to Robin. Maybe this guy's not so bad after all.


FIN



{x-posted to himym_fic}
 
 
 
Ashashspark on December 29th, 2007 01:41 am (UTC)
Oh my God that was so great! What an amazing job! That's it, I'm in love with your story, and with your writing in general.....
a.: cam; is happily over houseregalish on December 29th, 2007 02:53 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm so thrilled you enjoyed it. I will definitely be writing more Barney/Robin soon :)
(Deleted comment)
a.: richard/caroline; just for this momentregalish on December 29th, 2007 02:54 am (UTC)
Another CitC fan! Awesome! (either that or you're a fan of "Wicked" and/or the color blue -- either way, awesome!)

I'm so excited you enjoyed this! It's always nerve-wracking for an author writing for a new fandom for the first time; this definitely makes it easier on me, and I thank you :)

More Barney/Robin to come! It'll be legen- ...wait for it...

-DARY.
boundbyspellsboundbyspells on December 29th, 2007 04:35 am (UTC)
...he actually had, like, more qualities other than the hotness. She could suit up and bro out like no other. She could make a mean bowl of soup when he was sick. She could take his ego and stomp all over it with sixteen utterings of the word 'no.'

Hah, this killed me. I really enjoyed it.

Welcome to HIMYM!
keatonpotatoes@aol.com: himym: pay up hussy!irishmizzy on January 2nd, 2008 01:01 pm (UTC)
Oh, Barney and Robin, those crazy kids. Yay HIMYM fic!

He never wanted to be this guy. Ted was this guy.

HEE! One of my favorite things ever is how Barney is the anti-Ted. It's so great.
breezy.: himym | phone five!madeitsimple on January 2nd, 2008 04:14 pm (UTC)
awww, this is so cute! and the ending especially killed me with awesome. great job :)
Cross Word: Slap o clock!goodtoast on January 2nd, 2008 08:07 pm (UTC)
Okay, where to start. How about that you've managed to capture the style of the show, and mix it with your own style of writing, and it's come out beautifully? It's so very YOU, but it still feels like this could be a recap of a season of HIMYM.

I am in love with your Barney. I mean, I love TV Barney too, but this Barney is just a little more mature. He's still sex-crazed, laser tag-obsessed, awesome, and a little worried about commitment, but he's not paralyzed by it. *melts* I love that he's got issues with turning into Ted, but is able to realize that being Ted isn't the worst thing in the world.

To me, it really feels like TPTB are hammering this point home with Barney. They spend so much time making us think Barney is a one-dimensional character, and then hit us with the Lily/Marshall "perfect for each other" speech. They keep slowly revealing him to us, and I can only hope the show is around long enough for him to get to the point you've written him as. He is a keeper.
mademoiselle: skins: cry if i want to.deuxcoeurs on January 18th, 2008 08:37 pm (UTC)
Oh my God, this is pure brilliance. Made of awesome and all legendary things. A pony could dance with a halo over its head and I still wouldn't say it was a more amazing thing than this fic, lmao. (Okay, tell you the truth I would be a bit creeped out)

ANYWAY. I love this fic. You had me at this line: The guy that can actually acknowledge there's a difference between fucking, having sex, and making love.

And then of course, the last lines!!!!
Butterflysnogged on March 17th, 2008 07:03 pm (UTC)
Oh, I liked this.

Your Barney was perfect.

anr: barneyrobin secondsanr on April 23rd, 2008 01:07 pm (UTC)
Very nice! I really enjoyed this fic. :)
la_tante: my favorite partla_tante on April 27th, 2008 01:44 am (UTC)
okay i'm kinda crying. and shivery. because this is really how it could play out. poor barney. blindsided by love. thank you for making my brotp seem so possible.
something holy used to love me: Tenhyacinthian on April 29th, 2008 02:40 am (UTC)
OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

FLIST HIGH FIVE OF AWESOME OH MY GOD.

SO THIS ENTIRE POST MIGHT BE IN CAPS LOCK JUST BECAUSE I FINISHED READING AND I SCROLLED DOWN TO READ COMMENTS AND I SAW YOUR ICON AND I WAS LIKE, "OH, SHE'S A BROTP-ER, AND SHE'D LIKE THIS FIC." NO, YOU WROTE IT, YOU SNEAKY WENCH, YOU! (Wench is meant there in wholly unoffensive connotations.)

ZOMG. AM FREAKING OUT. THIS WAS AMAZING. AMAZING. I LIKED IT INCREDIBLY WAY TOO MUCH (I HAVE OFFICIALLY STOPPED MAKING SENSE). AND WE'RE LJ-FRIENDS AND YOU WRITE JACK/LIZ AND WE HAVE SO MANY FANDOMS IN COMMON AND...

WHY IS THERE NOT MORE BARNEY/ROBIN FROM YOU?

GAHEWOGYIWSDHVSLDH. *dies*
I work, I function like i'm a girl.: bad wolfokelay on June 6th, 2008 10:41 pm (UTC)
awesome!
You're writing HIMYM fic now!
ITLlast01standing on April 14th, 2009 05:31 pm (UTC)
This is so incredibly sweet.
☆ you are jeff.: tv ♥ himym (barney && robin → hug)backtograce on May 1st, 2009 05:17 am (UTC)
The guy that eventually tells Marshall (and Lily and Ted) about falling in love with a girl because it's just too hard not to anymore.

Best line of the entire fic. I enjoyed the whole thing, though.
seven minute dance party: how i met your mother | otpvoleuse on April 11th, 2010 10:49 pm (UTC)
♥! Very sweet.