Log in

11 July 2007 @ 12:28 pm
Intoxicated Valentines [30 Rock; Jack/Liz]  
TITLE: Intoxicated Valentines (OR: The Importance of Sobriety on the Fourteenth of February)
FANDOM: 30 Rock
SPOILERS: Season one
RATING: PG for now!


The first thing Liz noticed when she woke up was the massive headache -- her temples throbbed, and the top of her head felt like someone had dropped a cinder block on it. Every miniscule noise, like the rustle of her hair as she moved her head off the pillow, was magnified by about a thousand, and she wanted to yell out for someone to turn down the sunlight.

The second thing she noticed was that she had no clothes on. She was completely without clothes, and she was draped in maroon satin sheets. She had never, not once, owned (or aspired to own) satin sheets.

The third (and possibly most horrifying) thing she noticed was that, beside her, Jack was sleeping soundly... also without clothes, also draped in the maroon satin sheets that weren't hers. She gasped loudly, clutching the sheet to her collarbone... and the loud gasp was what woke Jack.

"Ow! God..." He immediately grabbed his head in agony, eyes squinted shut painfully. He sat up and the sheet fell to his waist -- Liz just barely caught a glimpse of the waistband of his boxers before she averted her eyes to the ceiling and wished herself back home.


Liz jumped visibly as her name was shouted in shock -- the sound went straight to the top of her head, and she groaned, closing her eyes. She would've rubbed her temples if she had some alternate way of keeping the sheet around her. "What?"

"What the hell are you doing here?"

She kept her eyes closed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Your guess is as good as mine. Judging by the missing clothing, though, I have a pretty good idea of what I'm doing here."

"Unfortunately, so do I."

Oh God, this was bad. She'd become one of those women. The kind that get black-out drunk and sleep with their boss. On Valentine's Day, to boot. The kind of women that hang out at smoky nightclubs and wait for guys to buy them drinks while they call them 'hon' or 'gorgeous' and twirl their hair and bat their eyelashes.

Oh God, she'd become Jenna. "Somehow, I think this is probably your fault," she told him.

"Mine?" Jack raised his eyebrows and then immediately winced in pain. He groaned and rubbed one of his temples, laying back slowly on the bed. "This could just as easily be your fault, Lemon."

Liz shook her head. "No. No way."

"Why not?"

She smirked down at him, as physically painful as it was to do so. "Because we're in your bed, Jack. If it was my fault, we'd be in my bed."

She thought it was weird that it wasn't really that weird to be here with him, bantering like this. It was oddly just like their normal interactions... only naked. And they were both hungover. So, it was almost the same. Kinda.

"What the hell happened last night?" he groaned next. "How the hell did I go from my usual Valentine's depression to being willing to sleep with you?"

Her brows flicked upward. "Gee, thanks. You know, you're not exactly my top pick for a bedmate, either."

Jack tried sitting up again -- carefully -- and blinked a few times, looking around his room as if he'd never seen it before. "Next year, I am not going out on Valentine's Day. Awful things happen."

Liz couldn't help but frown at that. "Thank you."

Jack looked over at her, and for a moment he looked remorseful. But that was crazy. And his voice came out soft, like he was sorry. Which was also crazy. "Lemon..."

"No, y'know what? It's fine." She waved off any crazy remorse he might've felt with a simple flick of her wrist, and looked around desperately for her clothes. "Where are my, um..."

"Oh. Here." Jack held out his dress shirt, which had been lying across the foot of the bed. He averted his eyes as he handed it off to her, and Liz thought it was almost sweet of him.

She slipped into it as quickly as possible and buttoned it up, while trying to ignore that it smelled like him -- and that it actually smelled good. "So, uh... what time is it?" she asked lamely, and was now able to finally rub her throbbing temples.

"Ten-thirty," Jack reported. "We're late."


But neither of them rushed to get ready for work. Instead they just sat there, looking at each other. After a moment, Liz saw Jack frown, his eyes somewhere below her chin but (luckily) above her chest.


"Oh, my." He reached out toward her and she held herself back from slapping his hand away.

Liz drew in her breath when he gently swept her hair off one shoulder and touched her neck. Her head tilted to the side accordingly and she tried to ignore the slight tingling sensation emanating from where he touched. She also tried to ignore the idea of those hands being elsewhere on her the night before. Why couldn't she remember anything? "What is it?"

"It seems you have... a hickey."

Her eyes widened and she clamped her hand over her the spot on her neck. "What?"

Jack reached over to his nightstand and pulled a small mirror out of the top drawer, handing it to her wordlessly. Liz furrowed her brows at him. "Why do you have a mirror in--" She quickly closed her eyes and shook her head (slowly, it still hurt pretty bad), and amended, "Y'know what? Nevermind, I don't wanna know." She turned her focus to the mirror, then, and swept her hair back much like Jack had done. She gasped. "Oh, my God." Then, she reached out and whacked him in the arm -- "What did you DO to me?!" -- before noticing what was on his arm. "Whoa."

"What?" He glanced down at himself and frowned. "Lemon, what did you do to me?"

There were some very pink, very visible scratches on his shoulders and upper arms, pointing in errant directions -- apparently she'd scratched him multiple times. Liz grimaced at the very idea. "Did we... have sex, or did we get into a really bad, like... naked argument?"

Jack sighed and shook his head. "Knowing us, it may very well have been both."

What the hell happened lastnight? Liz raked her fingers through her tangled hair and blew a puff of air through her pursed lips. "Well, this is... different."

"Indeed," he rasped.

Awkward silence fell over them, and Liz slowly swung her legs out from under the satin, and rose to her feet. "Well, I should probably, um... get dressed."


She looked around the bedroom and tried to ignore the feeling of Jack's eyes on her, cataloguing her every move. "Uh... okay, first I think I need to locate my clothes, and then I'm going to get dressed."

"Good idea."

Liz glanced over her shoulder ever-so-briefly to see Jack now getting out of bed and grabbing for his nearby robe. Then her eyes caught on his lower back and she blushed. "Oh, no."

He pulled the robe on and belted it, then turned to face her. "What is it?"

"Um..." She closed her eyes and knew she was still blushing profusely, but there was nothing she could do about it. "You kind of have... more scratches, on... on your back."

She opened her eyes to see his lips curl, almost in a self-satisfied smirk. "I never would've suspected you'd be the passionate type, Lemon."

She rolled her eyes. "I was drunk."

"Drunk or not--"

"Yeah, yeah. Now will you help me find my clothes?"

"Of course."

This was really, really, just... not good.


{x-posted to 30_rock and jack_liz}
She was mean and she had seashells in her hair!: 30r; jl & booyah!dollsome on July 11th, 2007 06:16 pm (UTC)
"Did we... have sex, or did we get into a really bad, like... naked argument?"

Jack sighed and shook his head. "Knowing us, it may very well have been both."

Ahahahaha! ftw!!

Oh my gosh, I am so glad you are writing this, because this scenario has been in my brain for ages. It possibly accompanied the very first time I ever felt the slightest shippy inclination towards Jack/Liz. But, well, writing Jack/Liz is scary, and my brain never sorted it out all the way, and you are like a J/L jedi, so to all of this, I say win win win! In fact, I declare that this fic was destined to exist.

Can't wait for more!

(If it turns out that they didn't sleep together at all and this is all somehow obscurely, magnificently the fault of Tracy Jordan, then I deem us brain twins. ;-D)
a.: JK; cowboy take me away;regalish on July 12th, 2007 05:15 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha! Thanks so much, babe! That exchange seems to be everyone's favorite, lol.

And omg I could not resist this idea. I'm sure any Jack/Liz author had to've idly considered this type of thing for at least a minute, because MAN. So much fun.

More to come soon!

(Also, I am VERY interested to hear about this Tracy thing you had in mind, because I never would've even considered that, hahaha! But it definitely seems like something he'd do. Oh, Tracy.)
She was mean and she had seashells in her hair!: 30r; jl & booyah!dollsome on July 12th, 2007 05:41 pm (UTC)
Haha! Oh, the Tracy theory. Okay, in my Jack-and-Liz-wake-up-in-bed-together-and-can't-remember-anything scenario, the two of them go through this whole thing where at first they're all freaked out, of course, and then they kinda wind up acknowledging that there are feelings between them, and everything, and then at the end, after all that, they find out that they didn't sleep together at all! Instead, they, like, went to some crazy party of Tracy's, and . . . I dunno, roofies got slipped into their drinks, and then they lost magnificently at a round of strip poker and subsequently accidentally got locked in a room with Tracy's pet jaguar Snuggles. Tracy, of course, panicked, and had them moved back to Jack's apartment. By Kenneth. Who did this singlehandedly, with only the help of a bicycle -- and maybe, after much persuasion, a deeply reluctant Cerie. And I need to stop now.
a.regalish on July 12th, 2007 07:29 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OMG BEST EVER. Drat. Now I really want you to write that. HAHA.

Seriously, that sounds so perfectly 30 Rock. And omg I love the idea that Tracy would even have a pet jaguar... and that he would name it, of all things, Snuggles. WIN.
Uther Pendragon's Loyal Wench: andyfirthgal on July 11th, 2007 07:56 pm (UTC)
YAY!!!! Another multi-chapter fic!!!!!! And I'm going to do everything in my power to force you to make this one as long as the last one! Anyway, this was an excellent start, very interesting way to have them wake up and discover what kind of passion they have hidden deep down inside for each other. Oh, I got all giddy when he was reaching over and brushing her hair away to look at her hickey! And the scratches? Absolute brilliance. And Jack would most definitely be turned on by that. Excellent beginning, can't wait to read more! I wish I could write Jack/Liz, but they are just too damn hard. I honestly don't know how you make it look so easy!
a.: K2; so i'm a little left of center;regalish on July 12th, 2007 05:11 pm (UTC)
Trust me, my dear -- Jack/Liz? SO not easy. Scary, in fact, hahaha. I just force myself into their heads (as frightening as that can be sometimes), lol, and just try to take what we already know about them and look at things like they would.

I'm so glad you're liking the premise so far! And yes, that passion is definitely there, hehehe, just buried beneath layers of compliment/insults and bicurious shoes :D

Thanks so much for the review! More to come soon.
csiAngel: 30 Rock Liz poutcsiangel on July 11th, 2007 08:09 pm (UTC)
Yay! A new fic! :-D Brilliant story idea. So funny. I could just picture this scene :-)

I just want to know why there's only one chapter so far? You know how impatient I get ;-)
a.: TF; everything you areregalish on July 12th, 2007 05:08 pm (UTC)
Yay, thanks Jac! Hehe. Glad you like the premise. Thought it up during a particularly dreadful bout with boredom @ work and it was too irresistible :D

And yes, only one chapter thus-far. I need time to get ahead -- gotta make sure I don't have anymore unfinished fics piling up on me! You wouldn't want that, now would you? ;D
imaclanni on July 11th, 2007 08:15 pm (UTC)
hooray hooray, a new fic! i really like where this is going, i can't wait to read the rest!
a.: M/S; a case for mulder and scully;regalish on July 12th, 2007 05:05 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much! More soon :)
meganp6 on July 11th, 2007 08:51 pm (UTC)
You already know what I’m going to say but I’ll say it anyway....
I loved it!!This chapter was just perfect and that’s exactly the problem, it makes me want to read a 100 more…and I’m NOT kidding about the number! LOL
I really cannot wait to read the next chapter. Again, you’ve done a beautiful job girl, they’re SO cute together!! Hurry back with, will ya?!


PS: You know what I loved the most? At the rating you wrote “PG for now” hehe bless you!
a.: JG; you know i'm damn precious;regalish on July 12th, 2007 04:57 pm (UTC)
Re: You already know what I’m going to say but I’ll say it anyway....
Hehe! Thanks so much, Meg, for the sweet review! I'm glad you're enjoying this thus-far. I thought this premise up at work and it was way too fun to resist!

P.S. Hahaha! Yes, the rating is definitely going to go up. They have to have some recollection of the night, right?? ;D
Tally: David Cassidymusical_junkie on July 12th, 2007 02:23 am (UTC)
"Did we... have sex, or did we get into a really bad, like... naked argument?"

Jack sighed and shook his head. "Knowing us, it may very well have been both."

Greatest. Line. Ever.
a.: MB; everytime i think of you;regalish on July 12th, 2007 04:55 pm (UTC)
*giggle* Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked that line; that was a total last-second addition, lol.
Cross Wordgoodtoast on July 12th, 2007 03:43 am (UTC)
Newwwwwww fic! Yessssssssssss!

I love this idea of them having no memory of hooking up (...or did they...?). Plays to them reaching their breaking point and having hot passionate sex--which so needs to happen right now because I am tired of the haitus. Whee!

Them bantering in bed, and having it not be weird was perfect. They totally would (and should, dammit!), and I laughed so hard at Liz realizing that she's become Jenna. Oh man. Sometimes I just don't quite understand why they're friends, but I love them anyways <3
a.: K2; it's all about popular;regalish on July 12th, 2007 04:54 pm (UTC)
Haha! Thanks so much. Jenna and Liz really are the most bewildering BFF's ever, huh? Hehehe. I have pals like that, though, where looking at us you wouldn't be able to tell why we're friends, but it just somehow works. :D

And I'm so glad you're enjoying the premise! This is what happens when I get bored at work, lol.
Amandalea724 on July 12th, 2007 11:05 am (UTC)
"Did we... have sex, or did we get into a really bad, like... naked argument?"


I love the start of this! Can't wait to read more.
a.: L; if you wanna have some funregalish on July 12th, 2007 04:52 pm (UTC)
lol! Glad you liked that line. Thanks so much! :)
Miamie: 30 Rock- Liz and Jackcsi_miamie126 on July 12th, 2007 12:52 pm (UTC)
I'll be around.. the fourth person to say this but...

"Did we... have sex, or did we get into a really bad, like... naked argument?"

Jack sighed and shook his head. "Knowing us, it may very well have been both."

Yes, this line PWNED! me.

Another multi-chapter Jack/Liz fic! *bows to the Jack/Liz Jedi Master* I love you so much right now. Keep it up! (This means more on the rating, okay? *evil laugh*

Miamie: JackxLiz ficcons: Intoxicated Valentinescsi_miamie126 on July 12th, 2007 01:43 pm (UTC)
P.S. Look at what you made me do. LOOK! LOOOOK!
a.: A2; don't dream too far;regalish on July 12th, 2007 04:51 pm (UTC)
a.: K2; so i'm a little left of center;regalish on July 12th, 2007 04:52 pm (UTC)
Hehe, thanks so much!
stephen@charleneforever.com: 30 rock: jack/liz (and walking)michellek on July 15th, 2007 06:24 am (UTC)
Liz grimaced at the very idea. "Did we... have sex, or did we get into a really bad, like... naked argument?"

LOL. So awesome.
stephen@charleneforever.com: 30 rock: jack/liz (and following)michellek on July 15th, 2007 06:25 am (UTC)
I didn't close the italics tag again! D'oh. *shakes fist at self*
a.: JF; turning into dust;regalish on July 16th, 2007 01:39 am (UTC)
Bwahahaha! Damn those italics, got ya again! ;D
a.: L; says i'm imperfectregalish on July 16th, 2007 01:38 am (UTC)
LOL, thank you! That seems to be everyone's favorite line and I'm not quite sure why, but I'm glad you all enjoy it so much. That was added literally at the last second, heee!

Thanks again!